The concept of adolescence as a transition period characterized by a high conflict between parents and children is rather recent, and depends on history and culture rather than on physiology
Our ancestors had no doubts. A precise age defined the end of childhood: the 14 years. In the statute of 1441 of the community of Radicofani (Republic of Siena), at the age of 14, young people become part of the adult community with the related obligations, rights and duties. But there is something even more interesting in this old statute. It is recognized that the responsibility of one’s actions, especially if these involve negative effects, has begun since the child is eight years old.
The conception of a period of passage, called adolescence, It seems completely extraneous to common reflection at least until the dawn of the twentieth century. And I want to point out that at 14 years of age cognitive tools (logical thinking, use of spatial and temporal coordinations) and ethical awareness do not differ substantially from the same tools used by adults.
Conflict: a phenomenon natural or cultural?
It is only since 1904 (release date of the book Adolescence, of the psychologist Granville Stanley Hall) that the term will have an increasingly wider diffusion in psychology and common knowledge. Hall described a connection, which seemed indissoluble, between physical transformations and emotional disturbances. As was inevitable, the transformation of physical characters, so a hall even one appeared one Phase of passage characterized by conflicting feelings and conflict with the adult worldcaused by emotional tensions and strong sexual drives.
Hall’s theorization took place in the era of full industrialization, when a waiting period was born to specialize before entering the world of work. Hall provided rationalization to the new dependence imposed on young people. His theory was welcomed by parents, teachers and managers of youth movements, all from the middle class.
Thirty years later Margaret Mead (The teenager in a primitive society) with his research in the islands of Samoa showed how conflicts and tensions are a product of culture, Not an inevitable concomitance of physiological maturation: Samoa’s young people receive an education from sexuality and social relationships from early childhood that allow a transition to adulthood without conflict and inconvenience.
Not just conflicts
Starting from the 1960s, research began to investigate more and more on evolutionary aspects In relation to the multiple experiences that teenagers find themselves having to face. Thus are overcome those conceptions that continued to characterize adolescence as inevitable age of the crisis.
The need to study it as a path within which the individual, in the phase of passage from childhood to adulthood, has to face several has been recognized Development tasks To build a more complex identity than it had in childhood. These assignments concern the body growth and the Definition of the sexual rolethe renovation of intra and extra family affective relationships, including those with the opposite sex, the development of cognitive skills, preparation for a work activity. Demanding tasks, but not necessarily conflicting.
Undoubtedly, in a society organized like ours, The difficulties related to psychological growth find fertile ground in adolescencemanifesting itself in often forms provocative. However, what I would like to underline is the type of reading that is given to these provocations, the way of thinking and talking about it, the prejudices and stereotypes that are used in their description, the types of expectations that are implemented.
The conflict in the relationship
Without denying the importance of the changes that are produced at this stage, however, however, In the majority of the boys they do not express themselves in disruptive, negative, problems or conflicting forms. “For most children, the adolescent phase, to which both the teenager himself contribute with their resources and choices, and the social and cultural conditions that are an important ground for growth, develops without particular oppositions, challenges or psychopathological manifestations” (Camaioni and Blasio, Development psychologyBologna).
In fact, it can be demonstrated that The biological phenomena itself are not the direct source or the cause of problems Which, on the other hand, are linked to the “preparation” that have become in the family, in the school, in the various relationships that have been carried out in previous years. In addition, problems and conflicts, when they are present, are for the characteristics that reciprocity assumes in the parents/children relationship.
The path underway during the adolescent phase is the consequence of the relationship that has already been established with children in previous years. What autonomies of choice we have been able to offer and what kind of respect we have been able to recognize the child. If we have been very directive parents it will be difficult to give up our directivity and the conflict will be inevitable. If we were parents who have always tried to be “friends”, almost children with the child, and we wanted to follow to keep this feature, we will probably clash with a child who will not want to recognize ourselves as his peer, because he needs to build his identity independently. And so on.
Parents must also change
As parents we should be able to recognize that The changes of teenage children who become adults they also impose changes in the way of being parents. No longer called to support children but called to dialogue more and more with another individual who gradually becomes increasingly autonomous and adults too.
We are not isolated individuals, we choose ours behaviors as an answer and proposed to other proposals and responses. In addition, our mental attitudes contribute to regulating our expectations with respect to the behavior of others. Expecting that the teenager son will still oppose our way of life will ensure that every behavior will be interpreted as an oppositional.
It is the famous effect called “prophecy that comes true”: Expect hostile behavior predetermines my defense against that behavior and therefore my hostility. The invitation is then to be able to maintain a non -preliminary attitude that will give the opportunity not to interpret all the behaviors of the teenage child as problematic and negative before even a behavior is implemented.
Three ideas of reflection
- the definition of a specific period of passage from childhood to adulthood, called adolescence, it’s recent history
- this period it is not necessarily characterized by high conflict with the world of adults
- There is a first of the adolescent period that influences its characteristics
