Born and grow together, sharing the physical appearance and, sometimes, the same genes … The growth of two twin children makes us question the peculiarities of this unique relationship between brothers
The scientific studies of the last twenty years have revolutionized knowledge on prenatal life, allowing us to discover how the link between two twins starts already during pregnancy. Particular forms of interaction, then, continue even after birth. Once they come to light, in fact, the twins seem to maintain the same attitude kept in the womb. If, for example, during gestation one of the two tended to “take more space” and show themselves lively and more agitated than the twin – on the contrary mild and tending to cover a small space in the belly -, this type of temperament will also be observable later. Those who moved more and occupied more space will tend to have a more extroverted and dominant temperament than the twin that was less interactive in the belly, which will continue to have a gregary and more shy behavior.
The secret language of the twins
Linguistic development can also meet a peculiar phase. It may happen that the twins develop a sort of language and incomprehensible to strangers, with which to communicate internally. This type of secret language is called cryptoofasia: An agreement for gestures and unknown words that adults must help to overcome. Most of the time this two -language language disappears alone, to give space to the language shared with others. If this does not happen, there is a risk that children do not fully activate normal linguistic development and that the acquisition of language can be delayed. Mum and dad sometimes adapt and learn the meaning of the peculiar gestures of the children, responding to their requests made in placed words. In these cases, The advice is to encourage the emergence of language by avoiding using children’s neologisms in turn: The adult’s response will be nominated objects and actions in one’s own language.
A compromise to find
The development of autonomy in general concerns the relationship between brothers, even more if they are twins. The not being the only child determines the need to interface more frequently with expectations for their turn, with compromises between one’s own and others’ needs, with the division of homework and autonomy in simple activities such as dressing, washing or having breakfast. If you are twins, it is easy for these achievements before, also for practical family management needs, which require an organization of times and consequently favor the acquisition of autonomies.
Here are some small precautions to pay attention to: in the waiting shift it is better to change the order often; If Vanessa is the first to give a bath, and Alice the second, you have to try to make sure that the day after the order it is reversed, so as not to perceive differences in treatment. It is also recommended to avoid comparisons: the twins were born together but they are not the same, and nobody must wait for both good football players, good guitar players, and that both have excellent votes at school.
Gemini: a particular empathy
The relationship between Gemelli is a common fraternal relationship. However, sharing the same spaces and growth times also leads to greater relational and emotional sharing, which enhances and solidifies the relationship between brothers. Telepathy between twins is a metropolitan legend, however there is a profound connection that is born in the mother’s bellyand which develops thanks to that predisposition to the relationship of all human beings, which, in the case of twins, is preferentially exercised with the brother with whom time is divided.
The search for one’s personality
Seeing two twin children like one is a more common mistake than you think. The fact that being the same age also have the same needs does not mean that they are the same thing. Needs can also be very different. It is frequent that the couple of children can be called, for convenience or by synthesis, “the twins”, but Just starting from this omission of the individual name you can seduce the idea that you exist only if you are together.
Better to say “let’s go to Diana and Ottavio’s feast”, rather than “we go to the twins feast”; As well as assigning different tasks by eliminating the “plural” call: do not “order the room”, but a request to Roberta to put the buildings in place and to Angelo to store the pencils in the box. In addition, it is good to give every child of small moments alone without the twin brother or sister, organizing himself between mom and dad to spend time only with one of the two. In the choice to insert the brothers in the same class or not, it is necessary to evaluate the individual case. But in general, From the beginning it is necessary to in each of the two children the development of their own individualityof their personal interests or of one’s friendships, accompanying them with serenity towards a solid and accomplice fraternal relationship.
