The use of technology has certainly created new contexts where people can know each other and start friendly and sentimental relationships.
Internet, social media and dating apps have become inseparable part of our modern life and forced insulation due to the crownavirus pandemic has certainly caused the boom.
Just think of Tinder, the most discharged appointment app in the worldreached three billion of passages in one day in March 2020. Since then he has beat that record more than 100 times.
If therefore it is not surprising that many relationships begin through apps and virtual tools, it is also true that within these platforms there are the possibility of expression various forms of deception.
One of the prerogative of online appointments is represented by catfishing.
What is the catfishing?
Have you ever wondered if that guy you are chatting online with online is ‘real’? Maybe the girl you found on that dating site seems a little too beautiful to be true. Yet it seems really involved. Could it be love or something else?
Catfish It literally means ‘catfish’.
In the world of social networks with this term there is a person who creates a false profile on the net, thus pretending to be another person, in order to establish relationships, even sentimental.
It is therefore a matter of A real deception through which an intentionally false representation of various aspects of oneself is built in order to pursue an exclusively online relationship.
The catfishing It does not simply refer to the exacerbation of desirable physical or behavioral characteristics or to the minimization of less desirable ones.
In fact, people who use online dating sites do not necessarily present themselves perfectly corresponding to reality. For example, not correctly indicating their height or weight.
However The purpose of these people is mostly benevolentthat is, aimed at presenting itself in a strategically more attractive way.
The objectives of catfishing
The goal of catfishing Instead it is different. From the beginning the heart of the catfishing It is the deception; Usually there are no conditions to bring the relationship to the real world because it is not a sincere relationship.
The relationships of catfishing Generally they remain tied to a virtual dimension: a person generates a bogus representation of self, different from his true identity. It also uses images and information usually taken from an unaware third part, to increase its potential and encourage the emergence of dishonest relationships.
The catfishing consists in theadapt the victim by attractive photos And words that suggest a genuine interest.
The methods of the catfisher
From that moment there is mostly a daily contact full of attention, aimed at establishing a real relationship of trust. The relationship is carefully cultivated to the point of dispeling the idea of a deception and mistakenly induce the person, letting it believe that he is within an authentic relationship.
The one who exercises the catfishing It will be able to be just like the victim would like it to be in order to make them believe that he had found the Prince Charming or soul mate.
There is also a tendency to fantasize detailed plans to meet Although at the last there is always a good reason why this cannot materialize. It could not be otherwise, otherwise the unveiling of the scam is under penalty.
Although those who use a deceptive representation of themselves and their victims have discordant expectations about the live encounter, these relationships can also last years.
The role of pandemic
Given the merely virtual characteristic of this type of relationship, the restrictions due to the coronavirus pandemic may have represented fertile ground for the emergence of this phenomenon.
In fact, the health emergency has made the apologies absolutely justified in order not to meet in person thus procrating the unmasking of deception.
Not to mention the conditions of solitude precisely caused by the pandemic that certainly made the most vulnerable people also to the phenomenon of catfishing.
What are the reasons that push the catfishing?
A first motivation that can push people to take on a fictitious identity concerns insecurity regarding physical aspect, or other personal characteristics. This associated with a deep sense of solitude.
In fact, someone could consider themselves ugly or not enough enough and feel more comfortable in the easeuse another person’s identity which considers much more attractive and desirable than one’s own.
Sometimes the person can have such a negative representation that he believed that the only way to communicate with someone else is to pretend to be another person.
In this way, creating one False online identityan opportunity to have social ties is realized that otherwise they could never have had.
A motivation for the false self -representation on the dating sites is therefore to present a more desirable self -image. This in order to attract a greater number of potential partners, thus protecting themselves from fears of refusal than they really are.
Hiding one’s identity by remaining anonymous can also be the consequence of the desire to live a relationship outside of a pre-existing relationship. Just as you can create false profiles in order to explore your sexual curiosity with relative security without having to reveal the true identity.
In fact, the online anonymity makes people less likely to join the moral codes present in real life.
When it becomes a real scam or revenge
Certainly the most malicious side of the catfishing He has to do with scoring money or personal revenge.
In the first case the catfishing It includes a request for money in the face of situations of serious health difficulty or having been robbed or a sudden and serious financial difficulty.
Other times, however, people use the catfishing as an instrument of revenge against ex-partner. In this case they use the victim’s images and information to humiliate it or damage her reputation.
Because some people fall into the network of catfishing?
One answer to this question can come from neurophysiology. Wood et al. (2021) explain why the catfishing You continue to claim victims despite greater awareness and attention towards the scams on the web.
The strong need for social ties And the consequent reward by brain neurotransmitters when that need is satisfied strengthen the connecting with others also in the face of deceptions and scams.
Human beings are necessarily social animals and our neurophysiology is designed precisely in order to reinforce the link with others.
The social connection with another individual is rewarded through neurotransmitters such as dopamine and oxytocin. These systems, when activated, can prepare some individuals to develop a love dependence. Thus they suppress the critical reasoning towards the behavior of the one who allows the social bond.
It is legitimate to assume that even psychological variables intervene in becoming the victim of catfishingsuch as the early experiences of attachment (Mosley et al., 2020).
What are the consequences of being the victim of catfishing?
It is possible that a large amount of actions of catfishing remains does not manifest because of the fact that the victims can feel shame and feel humiliated for what happened.
It can be unacceptable to have believed to a false person and have fallen into his net. Moreover, these are people very skilled with manipulation capable of making the victim easily feel guilty so as not to believe his authenticity.
Once the deception has been revealed, people label as naive with experiences of strong autobiass and guilt.
Retrospectively it is easy to see warning signs, recognizing that the behavior of the other was anomalous, but at the time of the relationship everything seemed mostly authentic and real.
The emotions of the victim
Realizing the illusion having believed deeply in a relationship that then proved fictitious, perhaps for a long time, can be a deeply painful experience. You feel betrayed, in all respects, with a consequent distrust of new relationships.
The victim of catfishing At that point it will be induced to be wary of all that people say or do.
A depressive disorder can be encountered as a consequence of the loss, having still been a person who despite the deception has been very present in the person’s life to the point of carving out a role of great importance.
We certainly feel anger for being made fun of, humiliated but it is also important not to dwell on the role of executioner of the other.
It is essential that the person wonders about what has meant for him that relationship, even if this inevitably urges deep feelings of shame and loneliness.
When professional intervention is required
For this to fight with the consequences of the catfishing It can request the professional support of a psychotherapist. These assumes a curious and non -judgmental attitude that can really help understand the vulnerability of the person on which the catfishing He had taken.
Although it is not yet officially a crime, it is never an act without victims.
Moreover, the mere victimization of people falling into the network of catfishing It takes away power over themselves and reduces control in their life.
Psychotherapy can therefore be an important part of the wound care process on the one hand and on the other it can give the person the opportunity to understand their role in his own victimization.
The catfishing In fact, as Knafo says (2021), it is by definition an interactive relational dynamic in which two people hide to become illusory characters of the same love story.
Both are accomplices in living in a world built on the screen of a computer and the relationship is supported by an illusion that evidently in some measure gives both actors what they need, although at an emotionally high cost when the deception emerges in the light of the sun.
Bibliography
- Knafo, D. (2021). Digital Desire and the Cyber impress: at Psychoanalytic Reflection on catfishing. Psychoanalitic Dialogues, 31(6), 728-743, Doi: 10.1080/10481885.2021.1976187.
- Mosley, but, Lancaster, M., Parker, ML, & Campbell, K. (2020). Adult Attachment and Online Dating Deception: A Theory Modernized. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 35(2), 227-243.
- Wood, S., Solomon Lane, T., Keeley, B., & Borowski, T. (2021). How Catfishers Exploit Basic Human Neuroscience: Science Explains Why So Many Smart People Let Their Guard Down in The Realm of Online Dating. SalonPublished May 31, 2021.
