With the term infantile emotional mistreatment (IE, Childhood Emotional Maltreatment, CEM) refers to conditions of “neglect” and abuse suffered at an early age with an extreme denial of childhood needs.
This condition can be shared by subjects relating to the “non -clinical” population and, unlike how commonly one can commonly think, it is not a circumscribed condition to the childhood experiences of patients with full -blown psychopathology.
Undoubtedly there is a large literature on the role of CEM in the development of psychopathologies of all kinds and also the DSM – 5 has recognized the role of early traumatic experiences in the etiopathogenesis of mental disorders.
On the other hand, there are very few data on the weight of childhood emotional abuse on other aspects, even non -psychopathological, of the interpersonal functioning of the individual, such as the quality of sentimental relationships in adulthood. In fact, there is no doubt that early experiences constitute a fundamental piece for the achievement of an internal representation of himself as worthy of love, an element in turn necessary for the construction of a stable self -esteem, an adequate development of sexuality and healthy relational skills.
It is quite intuitive how all these elements affect the possibility of building satisfying sentimental relationships in adulthood.
However to examine in depth the relationship between infantile mistreatment And quality of future intimate relationships we must necessarily consider other variables historically associated with these two constructs: self -criticism and the style of attachment.
With the term self -criticism We refer to a personality variable characterized by the stable and disabling tendency to criticize and judge themselves negatively whenever there are no high standards of various kinds (e.g. performance, ethical, etc.) that we have self -imposed.
Many studies have identified an association between CEM and self -criticism: it is easily understandable as an individual, emotionally neglected in childhood, he internalizes the idea of not deserving love and supposed and, attributing this feeling to his “not going well”, he generates a constantly critical attitude towards himself.
In turn, the data of literature indicate how much this hypercritical attitude is related to a greater probability of developing intimate relationships characterized by ambivalence, distrust and fear of emotional closeness (just as the effect of the tendency to be critical also towards the partner and the fear of being judged by the other).
For attachment style In adulthood, we refer to the pattern of attitudes, experiences and behaviors with which we present ourselves in the couple relationship; as a direct effect of the quality of primary attachment relationships with parental figures. In particular, adult patterns of avoidant attachment are characterized by low intimacy and devaluation of intimate relationships while ambivalent adult attachments are associated with addiction and high need for attention by the partner.
The wide existing literature on the link between attachment and quality styles of relationships It has rarely considered the construct of self -criticism within an integrated model to multiple variables. Only Sibley and Overall (2008,2010) proposed a mediation model in which the effect of self -criticism seemed to influence the intimate relationship by inserting an additional variable consisting of the preventing attachment style (but not the anxious/worried one!).
Recently a group of British researchers (Lassri, Luyten, Cohen and Shahar, 2016) investigated, in a sample of non -clinical subjects, the relationship between childhood emotional abuse and quality of sentimental relationships, considering the weight of self -criticism and attachment as mediating variables.
The results of the research have fully confirmed the hypothesis that the negative association (therefore proportionally inverse) between the degree of abuse immediately and the good quality of the intimate relationships as adults was significantly mediated by the two variables considered: self -criticism and the style of avoidant attachment.
In summary, the early experiences of emotional deprivation They lead the individual to internalize a critical attitude towards himself (plausibly for self-defined self-defense mechanisms) and to develop both attitudes of poor trust towards others, and an escape from intimacy in relationships (typical of the preventing attachment style).
It follows that emotional detachment, hyperinvestment in autonomy and vision of the other as unreliable inevitably compromise the ability to create and maintain satisfactory and firm couple relationships.
