Joy, love and family union are the words that, in the common imagination, should characterize the Christmas holidays spent in the family. However, some family dynamics during these holidays can be a challenge for many people.
The Family parties In fact, they may not always be as expected: the different personal points of view, the tensions and the pressure that can derive from spending more time together, can generate conflicts and emotional stress.
It is also not uncommon that in this period what the experts call is manifested Christmas bluesa phenomenon characterized by sadness, melancholy or a sense of dissatisfaction that emerges during the holidays.
The causes may include family tensions, painful memories linked to Christmas or the idea of not being able to live the “magic” so idealized of these days.
In this article we will explore strategies and tips to healthy in a healthy way some dynamics that can make us feel bad in the family during Christmas, paying attention to the type of communication that can emerge with some “difficult relatives” and promoting a harmonious coexistence and a support environment.
Why do family conflicts be heard at Christmas?
In the collective imagination, Christmas represents a magical moment that tends to evoke contexts of sharing, but can also be a source of tensions, especially when complex family dynamics emerge.
Gathering around the party table often means confronting character differences, contrasting opinions and old misunderstandings.
There are several reasons why family conflicts can intensify during the holidays:
- expectations disregarded on the family: Christmas often brings expectations of union, joy and family harmony. When these expectations do not realize, due to unsolved family problems or lack of effective communication, internal tensions can emerge that are transformed into manifest conflicts
- Money, money, money …: Christmas involves extra expenses for gifts, food and decorations. If a family faces economic difficulties, financial stress can increase during this season, generating conflicts related to money, frustration and personal dissatisfaction
- Restorations and past stories: family conflicts often have distant roots and resentments accumulated over the years. During the holidays, these tensions can re -emerge, especially if family members confront each other with family situations or dynamics reminiscent of past events
- differences: Each family has its own Christmas traditions. Divergences on aspects that may seem trivial as the preparation of meals, the arrangement at the table or the times, can create disagreements on how to celebrate Christmas, leading to conflicts and criticisms among family members
- prolonged proximity: During the Christmas holidays, families spend more time than usual together. This prolonged coexistence can increase the possibility of conflicts due to friction between different personalities, differences in opinion or views
- Increase in emotion: Christmas can evoke intense emotions such as melancholy, sadness, nostalgia. These emotions can help grow family tensions and lead to discussions or conflicts. The emotional state affects the perception of events, which can lead to disproportionate answers
- alcohol: alcohol consumption increases during these holidays, and it is easy to lose control due to the uninhibited effect that derives from the consumption of alcoholic beverages.
The possible emotions before and after the holidays
The idea of spending Christmas in the family can lead to conflicting feelings Already in the previous days an important family event, such as a lunch or dinner. On the one hand there is the expectation of pleasant and shared moments, on the other the anxiety for possible tensions or conflicts.
Before the event, many people experience a mixture of emotions: anticipation, nervousness and even stress linked to “having to make a good impression” or avoid clashes.
After the moment, however, emotions may vary: if the experience has been positive, you feel satisfied and serene. If, on the other hand, there have been unpleasant conflicts or situations, it is common to try tiredness, irritation or a sense of disappointment.
In these cases, it is important to take some time for elaborate emotionsavoiding to guilty. In addition, family parties can be an opportunity to better understand their feelings and learn to manage difficult situations.
Positively face Christmas in the family
Psychology offers some strategies to face these challenging moments and prevent relationship difficulties from compromising parties:
- accept the diversity of the family: each family is unique and composed of individuals with personality, beliefs, lifestyles, ways of thinking and possible different trauma. It is essential to consider this diversity and learn to respect the differences: avoiding negative judgments or criticisms will help to maintain a harmonious atmosphere for everyone
- Promote communication: communication is essential to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. Actively listening to others, showing empathy and being understood are essential skills to maintain good family communication. Non -violent communication promotes empathy, compassion and authentic expression of our feelings and needs without resorting to verbal or emotional violence
- practice assertive communication: Learning to express one’s feelings and needs clearly, but respectful, is one of the keys to face family tensions. Assertive communication allows you to avoid misunderstandings and establish healthy limits without feeling guilty. Starting the phrases with “I feel …” or “I need …” can facilitate dialogue without running the risk of accusing others or unleashing conflicts
- cut out moments of breath: There is nothing wrong with taking breaks during the day. If the tension rises, moving away for a few minutes to take a walk or enjoy a moment of silence can help to recover serenity. Furthermore, even taking time for itself in the days before the holidays can be useful to prepare to face situations with greater calm.
Live the atmosphere of Christmas in the family: practical strategies and advice
Some practical strategies to deal with dialogue also with “difficult relatives” during Christmas include:
- identify one’s needs: In situations where you tend to lose patience, ask ourselves what necessity is not satisfied at that moment. They may include tranquility, acceptance, recognition, balance, be listened to, among others
- identify the needs of others: Recognize that others may also have not satisfied. Understanding the needs of others can facilitate mutual understanding
- communicate with empathy: use a language that recognizes and responds to the feelings, needs and requests of others. Practicing empathy can help keep calm and make us avoid taking everything “on staff”
- establish clear limits: define realistic limits to avoid feeling overwhelmed during the holidays. Learn to say “no” when necessary helps to preserve emotional balance and fully enjoy the time in the family. It is important to recognize when we put the needs of others in first place, sacrificing their own, to seek a balance between understanding and self -preservation
- self -lecture: dedicate time to your well -being during the holidays. Get moments of rest, practicing relaxation techniques and dedicating yourself to hobbies and personal passions can help recharge energy and face family conflicts in a balanced way
- Look for support: family relationships can be difficult, and can be of great help both a comparison with friends who are perhaps living similar experiences, and contacting a mental health professional, who can offer orientation and support during this season.
Taking care of your mental and emotional health is essential, because it can help you have more awareness of you, your emotions and make you reach greater balance and serenity. Look for help when you need it and give yourself the right to take care of yourself, even during the holidays.
