Learning to wait means knowing how to appreciate the value of things, have self -control ability, recognize the needs of others; allows the child to reflect, to choose and evaluate what is happening
Wait your turn to pamper the doll; want a pair of shoes that will arrive at Christmas, and we are only in June; Respect the turn waiting for the other to stop talking before receiving listening.
Is it possible to educate today’s children, accustomed to having even before wanting?
“Don’t throw your shoes! I support them, otherwise they worship ».
“Then I buy them new …”
Can children still become attached to their shoes for the function they perform and not because they are bright? They had only one couple would be easier.
The importance of preparing the environment
Maria Montessori, at the beginning of the last century, wrote wonderful pages regarding education to the sense of community, the value of waiting, patience, and prepared the environment to educate in this direction.
By entering a room in a Montessori school you can see the corner for painting with a single brush, a pink tower, a single doll, a tray of the cutout and so on. Why the material in a single copy in the school rooms? To encourage individual workand therefore the concentration and individualized learning, and to experiment and live the wait, patience, calm, respect and responsibility without any adult should teach it.
By accessing the activity, the child knows he can calmly and calm his work calmly and tranquility, independently determining execution times. If another child finds “employed”, the activity of his interest will necessarily have to wait for it to “free”. Everyone learns to wait. Initially the teacher will support the child’s immaturity in managing the frustration or desire to have suffered what he wants. This mode of managing the activities does not preclude shared work and collaboration: when it is born spontaneously children can “do together”.
The collaboration is granted and favored, but does not implement. Today we see workshops, schools or houses where for three children there are three scissors, for four girls four dolls. But adults and educators claim that children are patient, respectful, calm. How is it possible? The child lives in an environment where everything is immediately and always accessible, but at the same time he must know how to wait. It’s very difficult! The moment of waiting is an opportunity for reflection, and reflecting allows you to choose better and prepare. The child who conquers what he wanted with patience, dedication and commitment will only increase self -esteem trust.
The wait as an opportunity for reflection
The child’s protest often frightens the parent making him feel severe, unfair or “bad”. “I want to see a cardboard!”, “I want to eat!”, “I want to go out!”, “I want to go!” And answer: “A moment, soon you can”, it is not a crime, but an educational act that involves commitment, effort and ability to manage the frustration that the child can manifest.
The child learns to coordinate walking, learns to cut out by cutting out, learns to self -draw up self -alive, learn to socialize when he is with other children and can learn to wait waiting for.
Educating at the wait means educating to self -control, respect for others, to the understanding of the needs of others. We adapt the environment so that this can educate waiting, we help children manage the frustration of not being able to have everything immediately, through the welcome, listening and example.
The time of waiting is not a lost time or the expression of a bad family organization, but we can see it as a precious educational choice consciously put in place by mom and dad.
Children observe adults very much, they are attracted and fascinated by their skills and skills. Just for this The parent, like the teacher, have the responsibility of taking care of the “model” they offer to children. What they do is what the child will receive as a teaching. Especially in the first years of life, one should try, in the presence of children, to be attentive to every nuance of language, movements, attitude towards others, towards things, towards animals, because the mind of children absorbs anything and is formed through experiences. Maria Montessori imagined a patient and humble adult, that is, capable of a non -invasive presence in the child’s activity and able to observe, serve, tie, retire or keep silent, according to cases and needs.
Some advice on how to behave
Television
We could give the children an opportunity, if eager to watch TV, to do it on a few occasions, short, bare. You can choose a few moments of the week, getting help from an self -consopted calendar where the TV falls at some specific moments predetermined that can dictate the timing to the child. This helps the child in space orientation, in self -regulation and objection of the rules. In short, the TV can be turned on, but you can also turn off.
The bedroom
We can choose few objects, beautiful, well -kept, interesting and ordered that allow the child to live a stimulating but not suffocating, hyperstimulating and chaotic environment. Children can live in a room with few games, thus building spaces for creativity, in -depth analysis and research, having clear what they have at their disposal.
Dialogue
When two adults are speaking they can request a child who wants to talk about waiting for their turn and then, once the word is given, dedicate all the attention he deserves. This will make him feel important, as, moreover, his parents are also.
The brothers
A single bicycle, a ball, a single doll. It is not mandatory to have all double or triple because you are parents of two or three children. Sometimes for economic reasons it is inevitable, but it can also be for educational reasons. To educate to sharing, the relationship, at the wait, you must find opportunities to experiment in this direction.
