The insertion of the child to the nursery or the kindergarten is a delicate moment for the whole family, which is faced with a new and exciting experience of autonomy
The first backpack and many questions in the head of mom and dad: the time has come for the so -called insertion to the nursery or to the kindergarten, Often the first experience of prolonged detachment from the family. In this period, between joy and apprehension, the door of the house opens up to a significant phase in growth, an important change in the life of the child and parents. In this sense, the insertion to the nest is, both for parents and for children, one of the first stages towards achieving mutual autonomy.
Insertion or setting?
With reference to the approaching phase of children to the nursery, the pedagogist Grazia Honegger Fresco, in his book A nest for friendsuggests using the term “setting” rather than “insertion”. Talking about the accommodation means choosing to highlight the active role of the child in this process, to enhance his skills in exploring a new environment, and to recognize his ability to enter to be part of it in a positive way. We therefore choose to overcome a vision of the child as a passively inserted object to the kindergarten and return the right protagonism in the affair: Our little one has all the credentials to start this new adventure; Adults, parents and educational staff of the structure is responsible for accompanying him and mediating his experience, taking care to prepare an environment, physical and relational, welcoming towards his needs.
An important growth phase
During the setting period, the child, outside his “home” environment, will find himself in a new space, full of things and unknown people, with other children with whom they have to share games and attentions, and with different habits and rules to know and observe. Often, in the eyes of the parent, all this seems too difficult or frightening: in reality, If it happens gradually and with the right attention, it will be a great growth opportunity for the child. The crying, rebellion, emotions such as nostalgia or fear towards the new will also be part of this growth: for the child they are to be considered completely natural and evolutionary experiences. Growing is to explore, know, change, live a difficulty and realize that you can overcome it.
I can’t detach myself … from my son!
Even if it can surprise, The greatest difficulties in the period of accommodation are often not those of the child but of the parents who are unable to detach themselves from the son with serenity. The concerns, the difficulty in trusting the staff who will take care of the child, feeling guilty if he cries at the time of greeting, the attack of jealousy towards the educator or the feeling of abandonment, are all common emotions and understandable especially between parents at the first experience, which must be recognized within himself and managed consciously. Otherwise, the risk is to fall into excessive reactions and educationally counterproductive behaviors that prevent the child from living a positive growth experience.
It then helps to do a good breath and try to understand “what makes me shake” and, above all, “if I am doing the best for my baby”, also in light of the pedagogical indications that follow.
Keywords for a good setting
Trust. Your baby will learn to trust another adult who will take care of him and your promises when you say “I return to get you”. His serenity in facing the new situation depends largely on how much you transmit to him; He will be more peaceful if he perceives that you have confidence in his abilities and in the staff of the structure.
Sharing. The nursery and kindergarten enhance the role of families as active subjects, participating in the reality of the educational service. This assumes a fundamental importance in the period of the setting: even before the child starts attending the nest, you need to know the staff, the pedagogical orientation of the structure, the program of the days and all the useful information. At the same time it will be essential that you tell about your child, his story and characteristics, his family education. You can thus agree with those who will deal with him the methods of reception and frequency. Constantly exchange observations and reflections on the child with educators will be essential to ensure a good path.
Graduality. For the setting period there is no right time or suitable for all children. There are those who run away to play without turning back from the first day and those who are glued to the legs of mom or dad and need more time. We are helping us to observe a gradualness in the experience: the best thing, also for children who seem to settle immediately, is that the hours of frequency increased slowly in the first week, and that the reassuring presence of the parent is gradually reduced, all according to times and ways agreed with the staff, also based on the reactions and needs that the child expresses.
Some advice
- Before starting the attendance at the nursery or kindergarten you find a pleasant moment to explain what will happen; You can also take a walk together to take a look from the outside to the new environment
- Always greet your baby and reassure him on the fact that you will go back to get him
- Leave it with a smile and a pampering
- Propose to your child an object or at home, to keep with him, who will reassure him in the new environment
- Embrace it and pamper it when you come back
Better avoid
- Never go secretly, even if the child cries
- Do not excessively prolong the moment of detachment: when you are about to leave it, say goodbye to a smile and a kiss, and then go
- When you have to go and get it, don’t come late; do not change the programs without having notified it, especially in the first days
- If he expects to find mom, father or grandparents behind the door, do everything possible to respect the promise, in the event of unexpected events, notify the staff who will communicate to the child the change
