Adolescence is a moment of great changes and it is important to recognize the growth to which the boys go, giving them confidence
At a certain point it happens … and there is no way to avoid it: That beautiful and very sweet child, love of mom and dad, turns into a pimply monster that walks pending, responds to grunts and keeps the door of her room closed. There are those who can see gods anticipatory signals (something in him is changing), there are those who have the feeling that everything happened in one night and to awaken in the morning with a stranger at home (“Who are you, where is my son ended?!”).
Adolescence
Terror of many parents, an object over time of different and numerous social and cultural representations that have addressed the consequent educational practices, thus opens that age of defined life adolescence: era of great physical, psychological, cognitive, emotional and relational transformations whose Fil Rouge It can be identified in that long process that has as its destination the construction of its identity.
Already in the early stages (pre-adolescence) of this growth path, The boy perceives that something, not only outside but also within himself, is changingeven if it initially cannot give a name to the storm of emotions, sensations, anxieties and chills that are agitated inside in an uncontrolled way. In this sense, great importance take on the cognitive changes that accompany the physical ones: the transition from the so-called “concrete thought” to the “hypothetical-deductive” one will in fact allow him to conquer the ability to represent himself, observe himself in change and evaluate what is happening in him.
The judgment
In this uncertain period we observe in the behavior of the numerous boys movements and oscillations that are not always adequately understood by the adult world. The teenager puts the parent in crisis and often the most immediate answer is to assume a judging attitude (“You don’t listen to me, it behaves badly, why do you do this? You don’t want to do anything, make me crazy, I don’t recognize you anymore!”) Or excessively apprehensive (“I’m afraid it has some problems …”). Both methods of reaction, albeit understandable, do not facilitate the educational relationship that already crosses a delicate redefinition phase.
Look beyond
The invitation is therefore to a change of perspective: the first, difficult task of the parents is to be able to look at the contradictory behavior of children as external manifestations of deep needs And of an evolutionary path that, by nature, proceeds for evidence and errors, non -linear stages, forward escapes and precipitous returns. This means listening to and recovering a positive look compared to this age of life which has enormous generative value.
Those who had the opportunity to enter into relationship with the kids of the “I am no longer but they are not yet” know, with certainty, that behind a way of doing sometimes irritating or apathetic or almost indecipherable There is a wonderful beauty treasuresensitivity of mind and potential to discover.
The keys of the house
An important first step is that of recognize the boy the growth he is makingattributing value to the experience he lives. If it once part of this essential function was acquitted of the numerous “rites of passage”, which marked the transition from childhood to the new birth of adolescence, even today It is not only possible, but desirable, to identify and re -propose a new symbolic ritual.
A simple and effective example can be the Delivery of home keys. A gesture that, if done by the parents currently propitious, communicates a series of important messages. Delivering the keys means “you are big enough for …”, “we realized that you are no longer yesterday’s baby”. It means at the same time recognize the moment of growth and give confidenceand still offer an opportunity for autonomy and exercise of responsibility, accompanied by shared rules.
And if we think that talking about trust and responsibility towards an uncertain boy in the world is risky or paradoxical, ask ourselves how he will be able to learn without ever having experienced and remembering that, on the contrary, The deepest meaning of Educare is right here. We therefore live the adolescence of our children not as a condemnation or a disease but like a fascinating adventure, trying to see today’s young adult who will blossom tomorrow.
