How to explain sex to children in a healthy, correct and understandable way? To respond to this important educational task, parents can speak to the little ones of sex using a language as accurate and concrete as possible, a process that starts from an early age
That of thesex education It is a topic that often causes parents a feeling of unease. Having to explain to the little ones how children are born It may not be simple: many are not clear what exactly to say or the amount of details to offer, which often pushes to try to evade the topic.
Speak with due sensitivity – but also with honesty and clarity – to children of themes such as the conception or the sex Instead, it is essential to encourage the development of a body perception and healthy and correct sexuality since the early years. So what is the best way to answer the uncomfortable question: “Mom, dad: but how are children born?”.
“How are children born?”: Some tips to answer
In the first years of life, a phase characterized by incredible curiosity, continuous discoveries and desire to understand the surrounding reality, it is perfectly normal that children begin to manifest interest in the body (just and others) and towards i Themes of sexuality and the difference between the sexes.
Sooner or later the fateful question arrives for all parents: “How are children born?” Or other relevant these themes, which can arouse difficulties – sometimes even a certain embarrassment or nervousness – in parents.
In a culture where for centuries sexuality has been a taboo, an uncomfortable topic to be treated as associated with shame and modesty, it can be difficult for parents to understand how to answer this question of children.
The first step is to enter a small conversation to try to understand What the little one knows and thinks about it (“Where do you think children come from?”). Starting from his ideas and beliefs it will be easier to estimate his level of understanding And interest and, on the basis of these, offer him a set of information and facts.
Above all before 3-4 years It is advisable to resort to true explanationsbut essential. We therefore set aside cabbage and storks – elements that can create confusion in children – and we use a language close to the child, understandable and clear. For example: «In the mother’s belly there is an egg that, when you meet with the sowing of the father, slowly transforms into a child. The child remains for a while in the mother’s belly, in a special place called uterus, where he grows for nine months and prepares to be born ».
As already mentioned, the amount of information and details to be offered to the boy or girl who asks the question essentially depends on his interest and his ability of understanding.
As the baby grows, especially in the presence of a heated curiosity, we can decide to offer more articulated explanationsfor example in relation to the functioning and times of pregnancy or the methods in which conception or birth can take place. So, to the question of a 8-9 year old boy About the origin of the children, we could respond even more specificly: “The man’s penis emits a liquid containing spermatozoa, who meet with the egg in the belly of the woman thus forming an embryo …”.
It will be to the parents, knowing their children, modulate the type of language and choose terminology More adequate to respond to their curiosity in an honest and adequate way.
How to explain sex to the little ones?
THE’sex education It is a complex and multifaceted theme that does not only concern the physical act, but also all the components relating to mental and physical health, to relationships with others and, of course, to respect the person. But then How to explain sex to children In a healthy, correct and understandable way?
To respond to this important educational task, parents can speak to the little ones of sex using a language as accurate and concrete as possibleformulating answers to their questions that are truthful, but adequate to their age and understanding skills.
A healthy and correct sex education represents an important responsibility of the parents and can be carried out since the very first years: for example, when we turn to our children and talk about theirs genitalswe immediately use correct terminology, exactly as we would do for any other part of their body. Use nicknames such as “butterfly” or “pea” does nothing but perpetuate the various taboos connected to sexuality and transmit to children the idea that there is something wrong or unacceptable in talking about these themes.
Using the anatomical terms (penis, vagina …) instead makes the dialogue more natural, open and positive, as well as helping them to communicate more effectively any physical problems and according to many experts, the danger of abuse.
Is there a right age to start explaining sex to children?
Clarifying children as the birth takes place is already possible starting from tender age. You start immediately transmitting the meaning of them respect for your body And for that of others, for example involving them and making them participate in the moments when we act on them, for example in situations such as gearbox or bath. This will help them acquire greater awareness of one’s body and better understand their personal borders.
Starting from about 2 yearswhen in many children there is a strong curiosity in the body exploration and, in particular, of their genitals, we can explain in simple but clear words, which is completely natural to have this type of curiosity, but that Not all moments are appropriate To touch each other and that, above all, it is not appropriate to let yourself be touched or touch the intimate parts of others. For example, with delicacy and sensitivity, it can be said: “There is nothing wrong with touching, it is normal to be curious, but it is one of those things that is better to do when you are at home and have clean hands”.
Starting from 5-6 years We can begin to offer more information about the “mechanics” of sex, illustrating with understandable words for the little one or the little girl as a sexual act happens and specifying that it is a consensual relationship between adults: «When a man and a woman are well together they can decide, always together, to have sexual intercourse. The body of man and woman meet when the penis enters the vagina … ».
All the more we will deal with children with the themes related to corporeality and sexuality in an open way, free of moralism and honest Since the early years, the more we will have the certainty that, growing, these will be able to live them with naturalness and awarenesssure to be able to contact the reference adults in case of need for information, without feeling embarrassed or judged.
Explain how children are born with the help of books
The world of childhood today offers illustrated books that are real works of art and that can help parents find the right words and information to offer when dealing with the theme of conception and pregnancy with children.
Among the most beautiful Books to explain how children are born we find Birth. An animated book to explore the origins of lifeby Hélène Druvert (The Hippocampus, 2019), a wonderful register that deals with the conception, the evolution of the embryo month by month and the first moments of life of the newborn. The recommended age for reading is starting from 8 yearsbut it is possible to select only the parts for which you have greater interest and, with the right adult mediation, propose it before.
Other beautiful and interesting Stories to explain sex to children I am And where was I?by Mick Manning and Brita Granström (Editorial Scienza, 2008) e So you were bornby Alberto Pellai (Erickson, 2014). The former has a more scientific language, the second most narrative and poetic, but both offer in a clear and simple notions of sexual and emotional education, telling with delicate illustrations the conception, pregnancy and birth to children from 3 years onwards.
In conclusion, books can be a really useful resource for parents To explain to their young children sexpregnancy and how children are born. However, our analysis and mediation activity in the selection and proposal of these contents, so important for the physical, emotional and relational health of the adults of tomorrow, remains fundamental.
