There loneliness It is a natural experience in human experience. It can be a source of well -being or suffering, it depends on the context and the heritage of subjective experiences.
Staying with yourself can be a pleasant refuge and a moment of attention to your underwear or, on the contrary, connote a negative state of despair. This when he recalls experiences of abandonment and exclusion.
Who felt only during the Coronavirus pandemic?
A new study, now published in the scientific journal Personality and individual different, has taken an important step towards a better understanding of the individual differences in solitude.
The study analyzed the largest group of volunteers who have ever been studied on the topic (over 46,000 volunteers aged between 16 and 99 years old from 237 different countries) and highlighted three important factors.
- Age affects loneliness: Unlike what is generally thought, elderly people have clearly reported a less frequent solitude than young people.
- The genre affects loneliness: men have reported a more frequent solitude than women.
- Society influences loneliness: people who lived in individualist societies (like the United States), in which individual success is an important life objective, reported a more frequent solitude. This compared to people who live in more collectivist societies (such as Guatemala), in which the needs and objectives of a wider group such as family are more important than individual success.
Individual differences in facing loneliness
Beyond the three factors highlighted by the aforementioned study, we have been able to see how in recent months the individual responses to the measures of containment and prevention imposed to stem the pandemic have been very different.
For some people, loneliness has become a profound anguish, others seem to have faced very well the growing social isolation.
They certainly suffered more those who have in their psychological and emotional history experiences of solitude and unresolved relational traumas. In these situations, insulation can become a real stimulus triggering suffering. It can also remove the usual resources and strategies in the face of stress.
There are those who have found an area of comfort in the isolation, which has “authorized” or even forced to avoid “difficult” situations, but then leading to a growing difficulty in “coming out of the nest” and re -establish themselves to the requests of normal life.
And there are those who were amazed at their ability to face such a difficult situation and perhaps proof of the effectiveness of Paths of care and change facts.
Certainly loneliness is an unnatural condition if it becomes a chronic state and in this condition it can lead to states of psychological distress. With depressive symptoms, anxious to panic and post-traumatic stress disorder.
This is because our mind developed during evolution to be relational (Siegel, 2013). Our brain needs the relationship with the other to grow and learn, build meanings on oneself and the world, to regulate and find well -being.
The Polivagal theory
Creating bonds is a biological imperative for man
After 40 years of studies and research, Stephen Porges brought with his Polivagal theory (Porges, 2014) Precious information regarding the functioning of our autonomous nervous system. He explained in a more exhaustive way what are the anatomical and functional bases of the ways in which we seek adaptation and safety in the world and the different reactions of man to dangerous situations.
The central point is that mammals need to survive to establish social relationships and the nervous system in humans developed according to three fundamental principles: neurocection, hierarchy and co-regulation.
Neurocection
It is that process through which our nervous system detects the Clues of safety, danger and threat coming from our body, from the surrounding environment and our connections with others.
It is a continuous and automatic process that operates outside our awareness and does not involve the thinking parts of our brain.
When a danger is detected, our autonomous nervous system automatically activates defensive responses following Three levels organized in a hierarchical way.
Hierarchical order
The autonomous nervous system responds to body sensations and signals from the environment automatically through Three response routes. These paths work according to a specific hierarchical order and respond to the different challenges in predictable ways.
In evolutionary order from the oldest to the most modern are:
- The parasimpatic system which involves the Basic part of the vagus nerve. It is the oldest part of the autonomous nervous system and responds to the signals of extreme danger. When we are neither able to fight nor to escape in front of the danger detected, it brings an analgesic response. It pushes us to move away from awareness and connections to a protective collapse state. It makes us feel immobilized and numb, not present. It is that defensive reaction that we have inherited and that we still have in common with reptiles.
- The nice system He developed immediately after the vagal back and introduced the possibility of acting. In fact, it responds to the signals of danger by fueling the attack-attack reaction, therefore the mobilization of energy through a whole series of physiological modifications of hyperarousal including the release of adrenaline.
- The parasimpatic system which involves the ventral part of the vagus nerve. It is the part that evolutionary has been formed last, it is myelinized and typical of mammals. Regulates the activity of the organs that are above the diaphragm (lungs, heart) and guides the muscles of the face, the pharynx and determines our ability to express emotions with the face, voice, prosody. In dangerous conditions, the Ventovagal circuit promotes social engagement behaviors and has a calming effect. It allows you to send “invitations” to connect with us, we are looking for and offer comfort. He responds to security signals and promotes the feeling of having a engagement and safe social connections.
Overcoming the classic paradigm
The identification of these three paths led to the overcoming of the classic paradigm, which instead sees the autonomous nervous system as an alternation and balance between nice system and parasimpatic systemtherefore between hyper-reaction (attack/ escape) and relaxation/ recovery of homeostasis.
In reality, the responses of our nervous system are organized in a hierarchical way. This means that we first use the adaptive responses that come from the most recent steps of our evolution (via Ventrovagale). When these do not work to put us safely, it gradually uses the most primitive answers, following the evolutionary history of our species backwards (nice system and via Dorsovagale).
Co-regulation: the search for security in the other
So hyper-reactivity is not the only way we have to defend ourselves. In case of perception of a threat, the first thing we do is Look for safety in the other.
Being together (social engagement) has become essential for us to survival. It is through the mutual regulation of our nerve systems (through neurocection and the ventral vague system) that we create relationships of trust and we feel safe.
Reciprocity is connection between peoplenourishes us and strengthens us. It is to give and receive; listen and answer. It is to repair breaks, to hear harmony, resonance. It is taking care and taking care.
So during the evolution we learned that in addition to the escape there could be of help protection of other human beings And this has led to refine our ability to tune in and seek collaborative relationships.
An individual in social interaction can stabilize his neurophysiological condition: if the environment is perceived as sure the defense responses are inhibited and the safety condition which derives from the relationship is reflected in the visceral sensations.
The Ventovagal Circuit allows us, when we are in safety condition, to promote more safety. We intercept these signals through social interaction, instinctively decoding messages that derive from eye contact and voice. By sending signals of response, entering into relationship and promoting self -regulation of physiological sensations.
The implications for psychotherapy
Polivagal theory has revolutionized our criterion for observing the physiological survival reactions in the face of situations perceived as dangerous. It has provided a fundamental model of understanding on what happens from a neuraoanatomical point of view when an individual experiences persistent trauma within his attachment relationships.
Albeit scheduled for in connection One with the other, humans are at the same time scheduled to survive. Relational trauma makes co-regulation dangerous. When to connection is no longer perceived as sure, our autonomous system removes us from social exchanges, or makes them conflicting, precisely according to our continuous search for security.
This theory can help therapists to better understand the behaviors and reactions of their patients, helping to consider the reasons to the base rooted in a history of “survival” to which you reach automatically.
Helps therapists to help their patients understand the Protective intentions of their autonomic responses, helping to overcome the experiences of shame and self -culturalization typical of those who have survived a trauma. And it helps the therapists to create the conditions for the presence in the therapeutic setting of a physiological state that supports an active social engagement system and that state of safety with the other absolutely necessary for a good therapeutic work.
The continuation of distancing from others
Loneliness brings a persistent instability message and our nervous system is solicited in survival research mode. In one stressful conditionbecoming a physical and emotional risk factor.
Perhaps being aware that one’s isolation or respect for distance serves everyone can help make it more bearable. Knowing how to offer help to others in fact contributes to making us feel still interconnected and therefore more safe.
Bibliography
- Manuela Barreto, Christina Victor, Claudia Hammond, Alice Eccles, Matt T. Richins, Pamela Qualter. Lonelyss Around the World: Age, Gender, and Cultural Differences in Lonelyss. Personality and individual different, 2020, in Press.
- Deb Dana “Polivagal theory in therapy. Giovanni Fioriti ed. 2019
- Daniel J. Siegel “The relational mind. Neurobiology of interpersonal experience”. Raffaello Cortina ed. 2013
- Stephen W. Porges “Polyworks. Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication and self -regulation”. Giovanni Fioriti ed. 2014
