Children often have fun repeating the swear words they hear from adults or peers, because they know they transgress. How should parents behave?
Some time ago, a mother, making himself the spokesperson for many parents worried about their children who say “swear words”, wrote to Uppa:
They are the mother of two children, 3 years old the baby and almost 5 the little sister. They are two cheerful and collaborative children, sometimes more difficult, but in the norm. There is one thing, however, that really sends me on all furies, and it is when they begin to repeat all a string of words that they consider ridiculous and fun, and therefore away “poop … stinks … potato … pea …“with attached verses. It seems nonsense, but when they continue uninterruptedly it becomes truly irritating. By scolding them only things worse, but also ignoring them does not work. I tried to explain in simple words the importance of the “private” parts of their body, which should not be subject to such shock jokes, but the attention lasts a few moments. Is there any tricks or magical technique to make them stop?
What are the swear words?
With the risk of saying obvious things, I state some reflections. At the end “word” is added a derogatory suffix, and thus becomes “dirty word”. It is clear that the distinction between “words” And “Words” is an agreement: a social group, at some point in its history, decides that some words must not be said, because they are considered unacceptable.
Usually the words concern the sexual sphere, the parts and the excretory body functions, the religion, the insults. As in all social behaviors, too The swear words are more or less allowed and tolerated according to the context. Compared to the past, where the so -called turpiloquy was the subject of criminal sanction, today we are witnessing greater tolerance.
Words that change
The swear words come and go: There is a path through which a used word becomes a word and, after a certain time, can return to being a “normal” word. Let’s take the word “casino” for example. In ancient times he indicated a refuge in a hunting hold; It was therefore not a word. Then, since he became synonymous with the house of tolerance, he took on the connotation of a dirty word. With the closure of the Tolerance houses (1959), the term has gradually changed its meaning and has become synonymous with confusion, noise, returning to being used “normally”. A similar path can be considered that of the word “fuck” which, from the original meaning of sexual organ, is now used more and more often as an interjection to underline surprise or other strong and sudden reactions.
It is undeniable that children like to say bad words. They can start from children, without still understanding its meaning. They repeat them because reactions of surprise or indignation arouse in adults, and sometimes of fun. They are thus asked not to use those words: to tell them is rude, and for this reason it is forbidden. And as long as they are, they are not needed explanations. Growing up, around 3-4 years, they begin to make a distinction between those words that, in certain social contexts, are “prohibited” and qualified as swear words. Up to adolescence, during which there is a kind of challenge in the use of words and transgressive expressions, as opposition to social conventions.
What to do?
We return to the letter that opens this writing. The mother would probably not be as irritated if her children said “Fèci … bad smell … vagina … penis”. Yet they say words that mean the same things and indicate the same parts of the body. In this case The children discovered a weak point of the mother: that they don’t want to hear such words. They invented a nice game: we get the mother angry! The game would end up at the very moment when the mother could not take it, including that children like so much words that adults forbid.
Be able to keep calm, however, does not solve the problem That often the parent places himself: good education provides that certain words are not used.
So, how to behave in front of a child who says swear words? The “golden rule” is always the same: we do not use in front of our children the words that we consider swear words. The example, also in this case, is what affects the most about the learning of the children and on their verbal behaviors. Parents cannot effectively prohibit swear words if they themselves use them.
And it is always a matter of education to make it clear to the child that certain words in social contexts is better not to tell them. In short, children must be understood that swear words are prohibited because they can arouse indignation and offense in other people; Not using them is part of a good civil coexistence. The good example of parents will facilitate the use of appropriate words instead of bad words.
Words to laugh
Roberto Piumini wrote it and Clauda Venturini illustrated it: it is The book of bad wordsa fun collection in verse to play down the dirty word and turn it into a game. It starts with a simple dumb, but terms are not disdained, how to say … more pregnant, as “shit”, “carrion”, “what a ball”. A reading to be done together with children to joke together and play with words. Below is a small essay:
Irina Cacca
Irina Cacca has a fan
made of peels of garlic rose:
What do you do with that fan?
Whoever goes on will learn it.
With the range, every moment,
Irina Cacca makes the wind.
But why do this wind does it?
The reader will learn it.
Goes the range for hours and hours,
because the wind hunts the smell:
Irina Cacca, of herself discontent,
He never stops, and never slows down.
