The cheerful refrain of the song with which an acerbo Tananai showed up at the Sanremo Festival in 2022, helps us to introduce the theme of occasional relationships. A cheerful, fun, playful pace suitable for describing the atmosphere that could accompany a playful sexuality.
And the head on the high seas, let’s find a house and we don’t end up in occasional sex anymore. But know that in a year, one day I will have not yet understood what you need.
After all, Freud was already talking about one polymorphic sexuality And he suggested that the reproductive destination is not at all the only one to be contemplated overall of meanings that affectivity can assume. In the sexual encounter, in fact, to seek fun and pleasure, emotional bond in being together, a profound sense of love that becomes a fact and can be included in a story, creative spark of a new life (Vaglia & Pellegrini, 2003) .
There are risks For physical and psychological health in occasional sex? Occasional relationships with the same person can transform the playful experience into something different, emotionally and sentimentally engaging that, if not shared, can it determine suffering?
Occasional relationships: meaning and evolution over time
Don’t worry, don’t worry. Don’t worry, she never liked it.
In the United States we talk about Hookup Culture. The term hookupused by adolescents and young adults, indicates occasional sexual relations without romantic involvement and released from interests in creating emotional bonds. This type of behavior would affect, according to what was estimated, 81% of the American university population (Fielder & Carey, 2010).
It was the changes in the 1960s, such as the spread of feminist movements, university parties and birth controls, in addition to the deconstruction and reaction to the educational paradigms of previous generations, to promote a different relationship with sexuality (Garcia et al., 2012). Today cinema, music and above all social networks contribute to redefining the models of sexuality.
From a psychological point of view, retracing the dimensions of human affectivity of which vigil and pilgrims speak (2003) in theirs Once upon a time the first time. How to tell sex and love at school, in the family, in bed togetherwe have to imagine a map that directs in the choices of one’s sexual behavior.
Taking into account the instinctive dimension of sexuality (the brain trunk contains the biological push of the mandate to reproduce us) we can move between different levels of meaning:
- playful dimension: Having sex as a game. We do not promise eternal love, bond or relationship, but we agree about mutual fun in compliance with rules that protect against unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, emotional wounds. It is a dimension very close to occasional sex. Desire to experiment, driven to discover one’s body and the transformations it undergoes during sexuality, search for light -heartedness, fun and pleasure are the main components of the playful dimension
- social dimension: the being together that indicates the presence of a link with the responsibility of boundaries to be respected and of learning the return of the other within the couple
- semantic dimension: making love, meeting within a link in the deepest dimension of one’s identity
- narrative dimension: if love becomes a fact it can be inserted in a story to be narrated
- creative dimension: The couple can evaluate to invite a new character in history with a pregnancy.
Occasional relationships and psychology
The key to making a fun game is the compliance with the rules. So that occasional sex remains a fun experience is fundamental:
- sexual consensus: both partners must be consenting at any time with respect to what is happening
- Avoiding oblativity: the attitude of “I do it for you” is risky and does not promote well -being and sexual health
- reciprocity: worrying about well -being, fun and pleasure and partner can protect the experience
- the use of condoms to avoid pregnancies and sexual transmission diseases.
Although the changes in behaviors and sexual morals have been enormous, some people can continue to perceive occasional sexual intercourse such as wrong or from stigmatize.
A very important aspect to consider in sexuality is the valiant one, since according to the aspects to which we attribute importance we make our choices.
The opportunities to live sexuality freely
Promote the well -being and a culture of sexual behaviors, also passes through reflections about the value dimension of sexuality. In compliance with the rules, health and emotion you can make different choices according to the size of the sexuality to which importance is recognized.
There is nothing wrong with living thesexual meeting as an opportunity for the game without particular emotional or sentimental bonds. Attributing a different semantic to making love is the result of a choice and the individual and couple path of two individuals. There are no right choices and wrong choices, better or worst choices, but different in the meaning.
The important thing is to be aware of what you are experiencing e respectful of emotional and physical health own and others. The search for fun without particular sentimental and relational implications, the absence of pressure and expectations and the greater freedom perceived for the fact that they do not know people undergoing their judgment, could lead some people to prefer occasional relationships.
Potential risks of occasional sex
At any juncture of sexuality, even more so on the occasional one where it is not said that there are new encounters between the people involved, the non -compliance with the rules exposes to Three main risks:
- unwanted pregnancies
- sexual transmission diseases
- Emotional wounds: badly placed gestures, bad words, absence of respect, confusion of meanings (such as looking for a relationship in a relationship that is clarified to be occasional) can transform a fun and pleasant experience into something tiring, unpleasant or painful.
Literature highlights the potential emotional and physical consequences For some people who decide to undertake this type of relationship. Among these we find:
- social pressures, expectations related to genre and sexual performance anxiety
- social stigma for women who choose this type of sexual behavior
- sense of guilt and repentance in the days following occasional meetings
- low mutual satisfaction e Orgasm Gap especially as regards female pleasure
- frequent absence of preliminaries with consequent damage to sexual well -being especially female (England et al., 2008)
- presence of sexual scripts influenced by pornography (Bridges et al., 2016)
- absence of communication for fear of the judgment
- less physical and emotional satisfaction (Mark et al., 2015).
Even having more occasional relationships with the same person can involve risks, for example it could encourage the development of emotional involvement, the birth of feelings with subsequent disappointment or frustration In meeting a different meaning by the partner who expresses the preference to maintain the relationship only in terms of fun and sexual pleasure.
Occasional relationship: how to manage it without stress?
Baby returns to me and put that gun away. Baby but what’s the other, I never liked that other.
Sexuality and couple relationships in general are a complex and precious heritage available to the human being. It is constantly enriched with experiences and meaning on an individual, couple and species level. A Intense and fascinating journey Which, like all complex experiences, requires adequate equipment to avoid running risks. The speech obviously also applies to occasional relationships.
How to manage them avoiding suffering? Here are some food for thought:
- clearly express expectations and meanings that are attributed to experience. For example, if you only want fun it is important to clarify it with yourself and with the partner, although it is impossible to exclude different meanings with priori
- establish rules to be respected To safeguard one’s physical health, one’s emotional well -being, sexual pleasure
- define clear borders which allow to clearly identify the limits of the relationship
- communicate needs, sensations, emotions
- Always check the mutual consent.
Freely live one’s sexuality
Despite content that speak of proliferus sex in music, cinema and especially on the internet, we are not always adequately prepared to deal with these issues.
We claim freedomforgetting that this is also based on the recognition of responsibility. Sexuality is a complicated universe in which, without an adequate map that helps to orient in the size of meaning, the risk of getting lost and suffering is high.
Awareness of one’s needs, knowledge of one’s body, respect mutual, curiosity And availability To the game and pleasure, they are essential elements in promoting sexual well -being. Once the values are identified, even in line with cultural, religious or moral aspects, different choices can be made.
Having sex, making love, playing to have fun or loving for life are different aspects of human affectivity. Defined the map, you just have to wish a good trip!
