Children imitate our behavior: to transmit the rules of social life, we must first give the good example in everyday life
Children running through the tables and launch the food in the restaurant, shout at the supermarket, disturb the plane, respond in a rough way to the strangers. We will probably have happened to observe similar scenes up close. What have we thought of these children? And their parents?
“What rude!” This is what usually comes to mind to those who feel annoyed by such behaviors. The adjective, aimed at children as reproaching, also refers to adults, responsible for a “bad” education. The reactions can be different: there are those who snort, those who turn to parents, some directly to the little ones, those who call the attention of the staff. The news tells us about clubs that prohibit the entrance to the children, the restaurateur who invents the discount “Educated children” and what threatens to have the dishes washing the unruly. Different choices that light discussions, often creating opposite factions between adults with children and without, between parents who think it is right to give rules and parents that defend the absolute freedom of the little ones.
The discovery of the child
“Children should be seen but not heard,” said an old saying that today appears to us very little respectful of the little ones, but reflects the social expectations of the past: the children had to make a good impression without interfering with the life of adults. Through family and school education the “good manners” were transmitted, a rigid collection of precepts that had to be conformed in social relationships, to quickly get out of the childish stage and become adults. Over time it has changed and modern pedagogy has been characterized by the “discovery of the child”, a profound rethinking of both the objectives and the methods and contents of education. The child is recognized as an active subject of the educational relationship And childhood becomes a fundamental period for growth, with its specific characteristics to be known and enhanced. And the good manners? Useless retailers of the past?
Educate with the example
Greet, say “thank you”, “pray”, “sorry”, ask for permission, if proposed as good habits, they can help the child discover and make the rules of social life his own. Understand that there is an “other”, with needs and desires other than ours, exercise respect and kindness, learning to be patient, waiting for one’s turn are behaviors that internalize with daily practice. The child, in the early stages of his life physiologically “concentrated” on himselfslowly opens up to the world and learns to live together with the others: with the strong desire to imitate everything he sees, he follows the example of the reference adults.
