Sexual dependence or emotional dependence?

There sexual dependence and the Affective dependence They are disorders of emotional intimacy characterized by obsessive thoughts that often lead to real compulsive behaviors or in any case dysfunctional for relationships and self -esteem.

There sexual dependence It includes a set of conditions characterized by sexual thoughts and fantasies that are sought as the only source of pleasure and as a means of alleviating negative emotions, determining the loss of control and the impairment of social and working functioning.

There sexual dependence It is a pathological relationship with sex, through which the person takes refuge in the search for a pleasure that can alleviate stress, allowing to escape from negative or painful feelings, from intimate relationships that is unable to manage.

Whoever presents this type of dependence have a Obsessive approach to sexualitydoes not consider it as a moment of intimacy or an exchange of pleasure within a relationship, but perceives it as an unstoppable sexual impulse, regardless of the negative effects that one’s behavior can cause both individual and social level.

The satisfaction of this need causes pleasure, but at the same time generates discomfort, anxiety, malaise and a sense of shame.

In the sex-dependent Behavies such as compulsive masturbation, promiscuity, purchase of pornographic material, use of erotic telephone services or on the Internet (Cybersex) may be present. The subject comes to waste time, money and energy.

These conduct create a sense of shame that is internalized, causing further deterioration of the ability to relate to others and a drop in self -esteem.

As direct consequence the subject suffering from sexual dependence It can develop sexual dysfunctions (premature or delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia, etc.), sexually transmitted diseases.

There Affective dependenceUnlike other forms of dependence, it develops towards a person and this makes it more difficult to recognize and contrast.

In the Affective dependence The person dedicates himself completely to the other, in order to pursue his well -being and not his own exclusively, as, however, he should be in a “healthy” relationship.

There Affective dependence It is a pathological form of love characterized by a constant absence of reciprocity within the couple relationship, in which one of the two plays the role of one -way love donor, and sees in the link with the other, often problematic or elusive, the only reason for one’s existence.

In both forms of dependence when the possibility of manifesting one’s sexual or emotional need ends, you can meet real symptoms of abstinence such as depression, discomfort, anxiety, restlessness or irritability.

Just as the mother-child bond has been reinforced since the first days of life by chemical reactions that by freeing endorphins, oxytocin and dopamine cause a physiological gratification that strengthens the deed of caregiving, in the same way in the forms of dependence on affection or sex The feeling that gives being close to the beloved, having sex or being simply in excitement maintains the need to chase one’s dependence object to avoid painful emotions, empty and boredom.

Below is a series of questions to evaluate the risk of developing one Sexual or emotional dependence.

Affirmative responses, in both self -assessment tests, indicate the possibility of developing or being affected by sexual or emotional dependence and the need for more in -depth evaluations in the clinical field.

Sexual dependence

1. Do you have secret sexual behaviors or the tendency to maintain a double relational life?
2. Do sexual desires push you to have sexual encounters in places or with people you normally not choose?
3. Do you need, to achieve a normal level of excitement, to implement extreme sexual activities?
4. Does the use of pornography occupy large quantities of its time and/or jeopardize significant or work relationships?
5. Do you frequently want to get away from a partner after having sex?
6. Do you feel remorse, shame or guilt after sexual intercourse?
7. Have sexual practices ever cause, or could they cause legal problems?
8. Is the search for sex or sexual pleasure in conflict with its moral standards?
9. Do sexual fantasies cause problems in any area of ​​his life?
10. Compulsively avoid sexual activity due to the fear of sex or intimacy?

Affective dependence

1. Are you a person very in need of affection within the relationship?
2. Do you fall in love very easily and too quickly?
3. When he falls in love, can’t he stop fantasizing even as he is carrying out important activities?
4. Sometimes, when he is single and looking for a partner, he lowers his standards and is satisfied with respect to what he would like or deserve?
5. When he is in a relationship, does he tend to suffocate his partner?
6. More than once he was involved with someone who was unable to commit himself, hoping that he or she changed?
7. When is it attracted to someone, systematically ignore all the signals that indicate that that person is not suitable for you?
8. When is it in love, do you trust people who are not reliable at all?
9. At the end of a relationship, do you feel as if your life was over?
10. Are love and relationships the only things that interest them?
11. Fantastic about someone with whom he is in love, even if he is not available, is it more important for her than knowing someone who is available?
12. Do you have the terror of being abandoned? Even the slightest refusal lives it as abandonment and makes it feel horrible?
13. Runs behind people who have refused it, desperately trying to make him change his mind?
14. When he is in love, is he excessively possessive and jealous?
15. Have you neglected relatives and friends more than once because of your relationship?