There shame It is an emotion that falls within the set of what have been called secondary emotions. These emotions unlike primary ones (anger, fear, sadness, joy, surprise, contempt, disgust) seem to develop thanks to the interaction.
There shame In fact, to be tried, it requires the physical or mental presence of a reference group or, at least, of internal behavior rules to stick to. In general, the shame It is defined as a sudden emotional activation linked to being exposed to the negative judgment by others.
How shame works
According to the psycho-evolutionary approach, that is, that branch of psychology that adopts Darwin’s evolutionary theory as a key to explain the psychological processes, theemotion of shame It developed in order to guarantee the permanence of the individual within his social group of reference.
In general, the push of the human being to present to others a positive self -image has played a fundamental role in the evolution of our species. Being well accepted by your group meant access to access to otherwise unreachable resources individually. The proximity of the other not only guarantees material goods, but allows to satisfy fundamental psychological needs such as safety, emotional regulation and self -esteem. It is clear, therefore, how to maintain a good self -image in the other’s mind is a priority for the human being.
The emotion of shame It seems to be connected to the maintenance of this image, acting as an internal signal that indicates when our social image could be threatened.
When this image is questioned and the person perceives a threat to the way in which he is seen by others, the brain activates a set of physiological reactions in the body that lead to a characterized state to which we precisely attribute the name of shame.
Parallel to body sensations it state of shame It promotes the emergence of thoughts and mental images centered on the theme of refusal by the other up to the real attack as they are considered weak and defective (Gilbert, 2000, 2002). The person who feels an intense shame It lingers in thoughts in which one’s social image is irreparably compromised and is convinced that it will be considered lacking in terms of skill, talent or aesthetic pleasantness (Gilbert, 1997).
There function of shamehowever, it does not end in its ability to report a threat to the social image, but similarly to other motivated emotions to actions that can reduce this threat. In this way, the state of shame Activates a set of behaviors aimed at communicating to the other submission and pacification with the aim of restoring the relationship.
Some examples of these behaviors are the lowering of the head, the avoidance of eye contact, the escape or the push to hide. These actions are aimed at interrupting a possible escalation or to defuse an interpersonal conflict that would see the person victim of social refusal and therefore exclusion (Gilbert & McGuire, 1998; Gilbert, 2002).
The experiences of shame They are characterized by being situations in which the person has been criticized, rejected, excluded or ignored by others. These experiences are elaborated at cognitive level and lead to the construction of an idea of themselves as not attractive, unwanted, defective or unmovable (Gilbert, 1998, 2003). Some examples of these experiences can be heard: “I think you are better than this”, “if you fatteen you will not find anyone you love you”.
Literature shows how when there is an absence of heat and safety in relationships or a high dose of threat, shame O submission they can lead to a underdevelopment of the emotional system that regulates positive emotions thus resulting in submission behaviors based on the fear of refusal.
Human beings, as mammals, have the evolutionary capacity and thrust determined to attaching and protecting offspring. This thrust finds a symmetrical and complementary response in the tendency of the offspring first and then adults, to respond positively to social and physical signals of closeness, care and affection. Some authors have hypothesized that these signals activate a particular emotional regulation system called “affiliate system”.
The ability to use and activate this system develops in childhood thanks to positive, safe and valid interactions with the meaningful figures of reference. In this way the person develops memories and emotional regulation skills that will make him feel confident and capable of managing their emotions (including the shame). However, if these experiences have not been made, the affiliation system seems to have been unable to perform its reassuring function in the adult individual.
Insecure children represent others as threatening by becoming extremely attentive to the social rank by focusing attention on the possibility that others control them, hurt them and refuse them. In this context, once they grow, they will develop defensive strategies aimed at car criticism to prevent attacks and social waste, thus resulting hypersensitive adults to experiences of shame.
Type of shame
To date, two have been identified types of shame That, however interacting, try to explain the complexity of the emotional experience experienced when the human being is ashamed.
External shame: It originated from thoughts and images of ourselves in the mind of the other. It binds to the idea that others see us negatively (not attractive, refuse, weak) and feel towards us feelings of anger and contempt. When the emotion of external shame It is activated, the world is represented as threatening by promoting the emergence of protective behaviors similar to those mentioned previously, such as avoidance, retreat and escape. Activation of the external shame It seems connected to a momentary discomfort of the ability to develop information from the outside resulting in the common experience of mental vacuum. The focus is on the contents present in the other’s mind with respect to oneself.
Internal shame: This type of shame concerns how the person sees himself in light of his own eyes. It has its roots in the development of self -awareness and in the assessments that the person has compared to his way of being. The person believes herself inadequate, bad, lacking or defective; tends to self -evaluation and self -criticism. The person becomes his own judge by performing the function that others have in the emotion of external shame.
It is clear how the two types of shame are largely superimposable and can interact by reinforcing each other. In particular the shame It seems internal to be an innate mechanism that allows you to protect itself from the external one.
When the person is in situations that could harm the idea that others have of her would activate the external shame that to be managed it would favor the emergence of internal shame in order to protect the person from ridiculous actions or behaviors. In fact, it is better to be hard with yourself and protect yourself than to be exposed to ridiculous in the face of others.
However, if in the short period this strategy is effective, the secondary effect is to build a threatening external world and an aggressive, hostile and devaluing internal world. Under this type of threat (external and internal) the person feels overloaded and helpless, unable to find a safe place where you can take refuge.
At that point the same emotion of shame And the feeling of inferiority become the subject of ruminative activity that is associated with depressive symptoms.
Shame and psychopathology
There shame It is associated with some psychopathological symptoms, in particular eating disorders, social anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder.
The excessive trend to be subject to feelings of shame It was identified as a result of an idea of themselves negative that was internalized through the first social experiences.
As far as the shame is conceptualized as an adaptive emotion as it promotes prosocial behaviors, its arrangement form, therefore the chronic tendency to experience shameit was shown to be associated with maladative behaviors, anger and aggression.
According to Lewis, anger would activate as a defensive and reactive response to the sensations of shame. Thanks to the angry reaction directed towards others, the person acquires a partial sense of control and relief with respect to the threat of social refusal deriving from the experience of shame. Shame would serve as a signal to communicate to ourselves that there is a threat to one’s social status.
In this sense there are two possible answers: to accept the new lower social status by communicating it with verbal and non -verbal expressions of submission or attempting to maintain its status by increasing social attractiveness or through aggressive and angry behavior.
Despite the shame It is an adaptive and fundamental emotion for individual development, literature stressed that when it becomes a persistent and dominant emotion within the life of the individual leads to maladative and pervasive results (Gilbert, 1998; Kaufman, 1989; Lewis, 1992; Mills, 2005; Schore, 1998), deserving clinical attention and a consequent psychotherapeutic intervention aimed at understanding their origins and reduce their intensity.
