For each person suffering from a serious illness, there is generally a person who takes care of her. And this is the so -called caregiver. These, especially if it is the only one to deal with the care of the dear patient, finds himself playing, often suddenly, an extremely heavy role.
This requires him to perform at the same time as many different functions: the physical care of his loved one, the management of his home, his transport, the search and the choice of someone who takes care of him. But also the dealing with his psychological and emotional state, trying, for example, to organize his free time with activities that can distract or stimulate it adequately.
Participating in medical visits, receiving painful news of which the patient himself sometimes may not be aware. Even manage communications with family and friends, finding themselves having to share news several times that can be emotionally painful, also dealing with the questions and reactions of others. And, again, it may have to make important decisions, on different plans, taking on the weight of responsibility of the consequences of his choices.
As, play the role of the caregiver Of a dear patient can become an extremely tiring totalizing activity, with repercussions in all areas of one’s life. And this necessarily requires a new adaptation of its role “in the world”. Especially when the picture of illness proposed concerns a long -term situation, or perhaps not definable a priori over time.
What consequences?
For all these reasons, playing the role of Caregiver implies having to manage different concerns. And it also obliges to confront with difficult emotional experiences such as frustration, guilt, fear, impotence, anger, the experience of feeling alone. Until the sense of constraint deriving from feeling “stuck” in a state of illness that is not one’s own but that is forced to manage.
In taking care of your dear often it is necessary put your needs in the background. Time and energy can be missing to devote themselves to what you like (go) to do. Until you get to neglect personally to cure “the other”, sometimes also feeling that you have to pretend that “everything is fine”.
Although normal it is to experience certain emotional states, the dynamics described, especially when they lose over time, can generate tiredness, stress, mobble and other anxious and depressive symptoms, up to real adaptation, anxiety, sleep or depression ailments.
What is useful?
It is essential for the caregiver itself Receive support and supportin order to prevent more or less serious consequences for its own health.
Look after a seriously ill dear dear necessarily implies contact with painful and tiring emotional experiences to manage. These cannot be deleted: rather it is important to learn to make them space and accept them. However, it is possible to identify some elements that can “Facilitating” the caregiver in carrying out its difficult function.
First of all, it is essential to indulge in (and accept that you need) time to adapt to the new role and the difficult changes it implies. This without pretending to have to carry it out immediately, completely and perhaps very well!
Thus, it is important for the caregiver itself to identify and choose some people of reference who can support it by performing different functions.
Functions of those who take care of the caregiver
It is first of all to have the opportunity to receive adequate, clear and understandable information on the disease of one’s loved one. Possibly associated with the perception of having a point of reference to which you can turn to confront this information throughout the disease path.
In this sense it may be useful to identify a contact doctor, or contact specific associations or support groups, if available on their territory. Associations and support groups They are also useful in order to deal with people who live an experience similar to their own. This can increase the perception of social support, which is important in order to promote the process of adaptation and also to prevent negative repercussions for one’s health.
It is important to feel that you can ask for help and feel that you can make yourself support from others. And it is important to identify at least one person of reference with which they can express their concerns and emotionseven the most painful. Someone with whom the caregiver feels to be able to talk about how he really hears, without pretending that everything goes well. In order to prevent negative consequences, it would be important, in fact, to try to communicate in an open and direct way with others, as well as with their own dear patient.
The figures to rely on
It is important to have one reference person and trust to which they can delegate certain tasks, as far as possible.
And, however difficult, it is also important to try to cultivate still space for itself and for one’s interests. To contact pleasant emotional states, recover energy and also in order to avoid identifying yourself only with the role of person who takes care of the other.
Finally, it can be useful to compare with a expert professional in certain issues. A psychotherapist can help the caregiver recognize and enhance their resources. And he can also promote the understanding and expression of his emotions, even of the most painful and difficult to experience.
Will also be able to promote the learning of Cognitive and behavioral strategies To manage emotional states, face situations and face and manage problems in a functional way. All this by supporting the caregiver in its difficult role and promoting its adaptation process.
Bibliography
- Bolis T., Masneri S., Punzi S. (2008). The caregiver in oncology: between role and needs. Italian Journal of Labor Medicine and Ergonomics, 30.
- Costantini, A., Navarra CM (2011). Psychotherapeutic interventions in psychoncology. Noos 3: 187-200.
- Domaradzki, J (2015). The Impact of Huntington Disease On Family Carers – A Literature Ovrserview. Psychiatr. Pol. 49 (5): 931-944.
- Onofri, A., & La Rosa, C. (2015). Mourning. Cognitive-evolutionist psychotherapy and EMDR. Rome: Giovanni Fioriti Editore.
- Steeves R., Kahn, D., Ropka, Me, & Wise, C. (2001). Ethical considerations in Research with Bereaved Families. Family & Community Health, 23 (4): 75–83.
- Stroebe W., Stroebe M., Abakoukin G., & Schuth H. (1996). The Role of Lonelyss and Social Support in Adjustment to Loss: A Test of Attachment Versus Stress Theory. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70 (6): 1241–9.
- Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The Dual Process Model of Coping With Bereavement: Rationale and Description. Death Studies, 23, 3, 197-224.
