One of the fundamental wishes of Men and Women is that of find love and be reciprocated in this feeling.
Auptafobia is the irrational and uncontrollable fear of not being able to have a sentimental relationship with another person and not to find someone to share their existence with.
The fear of stay single forever It can be so strong that a person brought to experiment with various conditions of psychological malaise that influence every aspect of his life. It is considered a phobia because this fear is completely disproportionate: it is not a simple desire to have a relationship, but for those who suffer from it being single is synonymous with failure, emptiness and unhappiness.
ANUPTAFOBIA: What does it mean?
Au uptophobia Etymologically derives from Latin and means “fear of remaining single”, from “a-nupta”, or “without wife”.
The most at risk of the over 35, who tend to feel more vulnerable in terms of solitude when relationships with their friends are reduced because in this age group most of them have a partner or children.
In particular, they are Women more affected Compared to men, especially for a cultural heritage: society expects that at that age a woman will find a partner and give life to a family.
This can lead to nourishing strong expectations in this sense and, consequently, to implement one spasmodic search for partnerwhich can become a real obsession.
Because you don’t agree to be single
The person who suffers from Auptafobia does not agree to remain single and therefore is always looking for someone to pair withsince he is convinced that only thanks to a relationship with another person can he be happy and able to develop his potential in any area of life.
If this research does not lead at the beginning of a new sentimental experience, you can get to suffer from panic attacks (with fear of passing out, to die, to lose control), or even of depressive disorders (with a sense of shame, conviction of being guilty of this condition of solitude, feeling of isolation and despair, anger and irritability).
In an attempt to Avoid the Single State And therefore the risk of suffering from these consequent disorders, we tend to “be satisfied” of clearly wrong relationships. Reports without a true empathic foundation, carried out with anyone who also shows a minimal response of affection.
Maybe they go on for several years simply because the au uptophobic perceives that the alternative, that is, the return to the condition of solitude, would create even worse problems and this eventuality scares it.
Psychological characteristics of au uptrophobic people?
People with ampratophobia have a low self -esteem. They tend to direct decisions and behaviors of their lives always and only according to the partner on duty.
Those who suffer from this discomfort, when they are in pairs they tend to cancel your personality For fear of not pleased the other and comes to make the interests, passions and ideals of the partner his own.
It is fragile and unstable people. In many cases they are returning from relationships sometimes even very stormy. When these end they tend to seek another replacement partner as soon as possible with which to build a new link as soon as possible, in order not to experience a condition of isolation.
Avoidance and envy for others
The person can find himself refusing certain fragments of his personal history if they are linked to failures in his incessant search for a partner. It can avoid talking about it, hiding them and feeling terribly embarrassed.
In the same way, he can experience amplified feelings of envy towards those who have what the person aspires to: a stable partner.
It also derives the aversion to participate in any event that involves couples, such as engagement parties, weddings or baptisms.
Precipitous relationships
Perceive anyone who meet as a potential partner who can free them from dramatic state of being single. Therefore, they tend to want to create a very intense bond as soon as possible and want to formalize the relationship without even knowing if it will be feasible.
In fact, immediately after meeting someone, they tend to declare that they are in love.
This could induce them to settle for committing themselves in a relationship with anyone who shows them even the slightest affection. These unhealthy relationships can go on for several years, simply because the au uptophobic does not find the courage to stop a relationship that however represents for him astill of salvation In the face of the unbearable perspective to find yourself alone.
Finally, the person with Auptafobia, in the effort to maximize his chances of finding a partner, cannot only be affected by a significant internal malaise, but can also see his life compromised in various social aspects and find himself implementing risky sexual behaviors.
Do you have a relationship because you are in love or simply because you are afraid of being single?
The largest alarm bell that reports that the search for love is due to anptophobia is when the fear of loneliness affective and anxiety that is connected to it represent the fundamental engine of the research. Much more than the natural desire for a sentimental relationship.
It follows that, once a partner has been found, this milestone produces a sense of relief due more to the fact that those anguished feelings are subjected to the pleasure of a new relationship as such.
How to recognize auptophobia? What are the signs that reveal the fear of being single?
Do not choose partners, but to be suffered
In a sense, you are satisfied with the first that happens, in order not to remain alone. And if someone points out that the new partner is not good for you, express your disappointment towards this opinion. Maybe by asserting that they say this because they don’t want to see you happy, without wanting to admit your inner difficulties.
Try not to interrupt relationships even if they are clearly “unhealthy”
You realize that you should not accept dishonesty, infidelity or absence of empathic availability of a partner, but you are too afraid to interrupt the relationship. So you think it is better to tolerate prevaricating behavior rather than being single.
Get lost in relationships
Whenever you feel seriously involved with someone, you lose the sense of yourself. Change your ideals, your schemes, your tastes, your values for settle and imitate the person you are with. Suddenly you find yourself eating foods that you don’t like, watching TV programs that you don’t like or dress in a certain way just to satisfy your partner.
Which can certainly take place physiologically in many relationships, but not to the point of canceling for the other: if you like it for the other person for how you are, too radical change could lead precisely to the consequence that the more themes ever, that is, the breakdown of the relationship and therefore the return to state of loneliness.
Neglect personal growth
You tend to give priority to the relationship with respect to development or personal objectives. Sacrificing your personal growth for another person is never a correct choice.
Be excessively jealous or possessive
Being possessive towards your partner is quite common. However, when the fear of losing it leads to exasperated jealousy and hyper -control attitudes, it means that this relationship is based on anomalous assumptions, of which the au uptophobia could be a founding element.
How to treat au uptophobia
Understanding the symptoms of anptophobia and finding the best way to treat them is essential if a person wants to overcome the disorder and have a better quality of life.
The best strategies to overcome the fear of being single I am:
- Focus on self -discovery and personal growth outside relationships.
- Being able to count on a strong support network consisting of family members and friends.
- Challenge the expectations and pressures of the company regarding relations.
- Develop healthy strategies to manage loneliness and anxiety.
- Learn to enjoy and appreciate the fact of being single, valoring your own independence and love.
Often it is necessary to resort to a psychotherapeutic treatment to address underlying problems and increase self -esteem.
The therapist can then intervene with different techniques and tools to help the patient allowing him to:
- overcome the defects of his way of thinking and being more aware of the psychological mechanisms in play both in relationships and in the condition of single.
- Talking about his fears to help him face them and see things in a more correct perspective.
In this way, a therapist can encourage the modification of certain schemes of thought and self -destructive behaviors.
This process develops slowly, allowing the patient to acquire more and more familiarity and control of their reactions in the face of fears of failure and solitude. This is to become aware of one’s value even outside of an emotional relationship with another person.
