Adults cannot only but have to preserve children from too vehement’s violence and emotions. The little ones must be protected above all, who have fewer tools to “govern” the war shock wave that is investing us
If we retrace this first thickness of century, there are some dates that is worth recalling to the mind:
- 11 September 2001, attack on the twin towers of New York;
- March 20, 2003, beginning of the war in Iraq:
- March 15, 2011, the beginning of the civil war in Syria;
- February 23, 2022, Russian invasion in Ukraine.
But there is another date on the calendar: 9 March 2020, the beginning of the Lockdown for the Covid pandemic. Starting from that moment, the life of our families has been distorted; What happened “outside”, in the world, suddenly entered our homes with arrogance, questioning everything: the images of the wars, those of the escaped refugees, those of the coffins leaving Bergamo or the health workers upset by fatigue. And, in this regard, let’s remember what family also means boys and girlsbrigade more or less silent witnesses.
There War in Ukraine It is grafted on the time of Covid seamlessly. Two years of pandemics have marked the life of children and adults, and as soon as we had the feeling of being able to come out, the timid signs of hope were cut short by images of the war: countries and cities that are not far away and that we see equal to ours are bombarded, crossed by tanks, with the sound of sirens as a soundtrack.
Can we protect children and girls?
As adults not only can we, but we must implement measures that preserve children from violence and too vehement emotions. Above all, the little ones must be protected, who have fewer tools to “govern” the war shock wave that is investing us (in this article we talked about how to explain the war to children).
A further consideration is that the children have already been put to the test by Covid and therefore the possible stress deriving from the experience of these days can be stronger than we could expect. Here are some practical ideas.
Television and internet
There are many images of the conflict in Ukraine, few are enough for impress children: refugees in the subway, the gutted buildings, the tanks that travel the roads, the sirens, the missiles. The strength of what we see inevitably leads our children to ask themselves: “Will it happen to us too?”. Feeling that Italy closes the aerial space for Russian aviation means talking about something that is actually happening in our house.
The position of those who educate requires aassumption of liabilitythat is to decide what our children can or cannot see on TV, as we worry about what they eat or how they are dressed. Since the broadcasts are live And we don’t know in advance what they are about to show, what we can do – drastically – is Don’t turn on the TVor not leave it on when our children could look at it. Let us remember that many children atera of 9/11 they were troubled by the images broadcast by the televisions who remained continuously on to follow what was happening: nightmares and anxieties They accompanied our children well beyond the duration of the broadcasts.
Turn off the TV represents a very strong decision. Someone could object: “But the reality is that, it doesn’t make sense to sweeten it.” Are we sure? Isn’t it that rather we risk finding ourselves involved in a sort of media voyeurism for which you have to see everything and more? The run -up to the audience, the scoop, also passes through a sort of useless cruelty of imagesto which we could oppose our conscientious objection of parents and educators.
If we just can’t give up all this, at least we must mediate between images and children. As? Explaining, asking, speaking. We cannot leave on TV the management of the relationship with our children, because above all for the little ones it is difficult to have the perception of the distance between the situation represented on the screen and their concrete reality: everything is dramatically very true, very present. Therefore makes sense be physically close to themtrying to transmit security and protection to him.
It would be better to choose to follow the information at times or at times when children are “safely”, for example in the second evening.
Good and bad?
The representation, in some ways more than justified, of Putin as a crazy executioner, risks dragging the entire Russian people with them, transforming it into the “bad” of current history. The generalizations do not help to understand Better what happens, indeed they have the power to give apparently founded certainties.
We can demand from ourselves very rigor in the words we use, in the judgments we express, for example not to tire of motivate our opinions to childrenpaying attention to the terms we pronounce. In the current case, for example, to pass the concept that the Russians are not the bad guys, but they are also victims of this absurd war. Indeed, we could explain that there are many Russians who are contrary to the conflict And that they are suffering, like all respectable people.
We could too try to “clean up” our conversations from the warthat is, avoid military use of language: to refuse contemptuous tones, banal and generic judgments, commonplaces (even when they are “on our side”), as well as all terminology, metaphors and war symbols. Phrases like “Clean place”, “going to the attack”, “News-bomb” are just a few examples. In this way, one does not mean the cause of the politically correct at all costs, but rather try not to get used to – We adults and children – in terms that have precise meanings and who emerge these days with all their violent charge.
Close, not far away
In rejecting the logic of “good and bad” there is also another important consideration to do. In our schools and kindergartens there are Russian children, Ukrainians, Belarusians – Often born in Italy, which risk discovering only now how much a passport counts. We saw after 9/11 that Muslim children were targeted and discriminated against. Can we make sure that this does not happen again? School and nursery should remain safe places For all children, and adults have a duty to commit themselves to ensuring that this happens. We can reinforce and emphasize all the occasions when children can collaboratebeing together and maintaining good relationships, and we can immediately identify critical moments, without underestimating their possible effects. All this means prevent any form of discriminationeven momentary.
Take the time
There are two actions that help boys and girls feel safe: the Reading stories and the game.
THE Books for children They are an inexhaustible source of good images and healthy imagination: stories, encounters and clashes, characters with different characters, problems and creative solutions. Not only that, they also give us the opportunity to spend time together And to create a situation in which we adults make the children perceive that we are, which we will be able to protect them and that will not be in danger.
The game is the other “superpower” that we have available: it is once in brackets, of fun and of I commitwhich serves to grow and which contributes to lightening the climate. Laughing together is good for everyone’s health.
Attention to signals
To conclude, let’s not forget to grasp the signs of discomfort: some pee that runs away, a look that remains worried longer than usual, requests to sleep together in the most frequent Latvian. They are all actions that tell us that a child is worried And that must be accepted as signs of normality. However, if they become persistent, the sense of malaise could increase. When to worry then? When adding fears that prevent children from facing everyday life, that is, not wanting to go to school, refuse to play outdoors with others, be afraid to perform habitual actions (for example going to the bathroom alone). In these cases, the meeting with a professional figure can be useful and help parents immediately resolve delicate situations.
