Everyone over our life experiences doubts about what we like, about one’s personal value or on what we really want to do at a certain moment. This is normal, healthy and depends on the combination between how we regulate our choices at that moment and our identity.
On the other hand, the construction of a Self -stable and coherent sense of self It starts already from early childhood and continues in the adolescent period, where the separation-identification process from the parental and/or reconstructing figures (Pietropolli Charmt, 2005) is central.
Adolescence constitutes a critical phase for the formation of one’s identity, understood as a set of purposes, desires, passions and stable methods of approach to reality data. It implies reaching a self -stable, consistent with respect to the past and projected into the future.
When this process is interrupted by unfavorable life experiences, it is possible that the person experiences a basic insecurity, of his own personal value and a sense of ambivalence. Here are some possible causes.
The possible causes of instability in self -image
- Parental criticism can lead the child to question his personal value, as being constantly questioned with respect to his desires, purposes and passions he cannot build a stable and accurate image of those who really are or what he likes.
- The adultization that parents can request to their child can lead to the failure to build a coherent self. The child accustomed to sacrificing himself and taking care of the other loses that “childish amazement” that allows him to follow his passions.
- Even their lived parents, who replace their desires for those of the child, do not allow the construction of a stable identity. The child makes his desires of the one from whom he depends, because rejecting him could lead to the risk of contempt or abandonment. To exemplify, parents who have had to abandon the university of their dreams due to fathers or mothers equally severe, they can push (more or less indirectly) the children to make choices that lead to their personal fulfillment, without taking into account what the boy really likes. The children accept, as it is better to sacrifice their desires than to disappoint parental expectations.
- Even a family system in which there is a rigid moral message, it does not help the development of a good sense of self. If I have to be always good and good, every time I am wrong or only I think of something “bad”, it means that I am not doing well and my personal value is questioned. Also who am I? Am I the good or bad child?
Self-ambivalence
The term self-ambivalence (ambivalence of the self) (Guidano and Liotti, 1983) introduces the idea that an individual may not have a concrete and stable sense of himself.
The person arises questions that may concern trivial choices such as the purchase of a garment or more complex such as the choice of the university: “I did well to take this sweater? “,”I really like management engineering? “,”What do I really want? “,”I like to spend time with that group of people“.”
Part of the doubts are linked to poor self -knowledge, but another part derives from the fear that making the wrong choice would lead to feeling an inadequate person (therefore judged) and/or “bad”.
Fear of Self
In fact, the ambivalence self is often related to another construct called “fear of self”, recently resumed and described by some authors as the idea of a “self” that the individual fears to become (Aardema et al., 2013).
Each person based on his life history can fear of becoming in a certain way, for him a source of pain. For example, those who lived in a very religious environment, in which the moral rules were rigid and necessarily had to respect, can fear of becoming morally wrong people.
It is an idea that is close to the theory of self -discretion (Higgins, 1987), which states that the discrepancy between real self (as the person believes he is) and ideal self (as the person feels he should be) is associated with “emotional activation” such as fear or high anxiety.
It is therefore understandable that when there is this rigid distinction, every action, thought, doubt relating to the self, which differs from the ideal self, can become a source of suffering, causing problematic and sometimes psychopathological consequences.
Relationship with obsessive-compulsive disorder
One of the most studied psychopathological consequences linked to Ambivalence self and the Fear of Self is the obsessive compulsive disorder (DOC), a problem characterized by thoughts/doubts/intrusive images (obsessions) that are evaluated as terrible by the person, causing high emotional responses.
To manage these reactions, the individual, in most cases, puts in place behaviors (compulsions) in order to regulate the emotional state, however creating a vicious circle that leaves no way out and widens “with wildfire”.
According to the World Health Organization, the DOC is among the 10 most debilitating disorders that leads to a decrease in the quality of life (Veale & Roberts, 2014) and it is also for this reason that there are numerous research on this pathology and the reason that can make one Vulnerable person in developing the DOC.
Scholars have identified several explanatory models, one of which concerns the relationship with doubts about the self. Then we can ask ourselves: how An unstable sense of self (self -caught self -self -caught) and a feared self (fear of self) Can they be the basis of this disorder?
Guidano and Liotti (1983) suggest that individuals who are ambivalent compared to their self in terms of personal value (“I’m fine? “,” Are they enough? “), morality (“Am I a good person?”, “If I work in this way I could be bad”) and amiability (“Am I lovable?) use (obviously in an unconscious way) perfectionism and obsessive compulsive behaviors to constantly restore their self -esteem.
For example, if I feel insecure compared to my moral value And I am terrified of being a bad person, I will tend to behave irreproachable or to drive away any thought that questions my morality.
If something happens that, however, I cannot control or enters some thoughts outside of my will, this will become a threat and cause high emotional activation. And it will be at this point that I will use compulsions to lower anxiety or fear, favoring the structuring of the disorder.
It therefore seems that the symptoms of the DOC are tools that offer relief (albeit temporary) with a sense of ambivalence regarding the self. People who suffer from doc can have this “Double vision of oneself”state that brings the person to the need for absolute certainty (to understand which of the two visions is the real one) and perfectionism (to act in the most conforming way to the vision considered positive between the two self).
This suggests that in the face of a normal intrusive thought, but for the unacceptable subject (“I can’t stand that person, I would kill her! “), this need for certainty and perfectionism offers the ideal environment for the development of obsessions and compulsions.
If thoughts that we all have activated the fear of themselves (for example they are a bad person), they become unacceptable and the person will pay you attention trying to neutralize them. This, as we know, increases the frequency of future mental intrusions.
Treatment
The treatment of election for obsessive compulsive disorder is cognitive behavioral therapy, enriched with all the third generation approaches we have today. If at the basis of this disorder there are doubts relating to the self and the fear of being able to become like the feared self, it would be advisable to direct the therapy on these themes in order to work on the problem at the base.
Broadly the treatment is composed as follows:
- The patient must know his disorder, and what he is at the basis, because we know our problem more we better understand the reason for some interventions and the better we can face it. This phase of psychoeducation is therefore fundamental.
- Subsequently, interrupt the purple circles of the DOC through the response exposure and prevention techniques (ERP) which consist in gradually exposing the person to feared situations, in order to encourage anxiety to anxiety or fear.
- And finally work parallel to the deep themes related to the self -valence and fear of self -self -self -self. To do this, it is important, starting from the therapeutic relationship, to allow the patient to build a stable, but at the same time flexible idea of himself.
Help the patient understand What he likes and what he corresponds to his needs, desires and passions It is fundamental: the use of the “somatic marker” (when we feel physically and emotionally that we like something or represents us) is the basis from which to start.
Allowing the patient to integrate the two ambivalent self -self images is another necessary step, which promotes flexibility, acceptance and enhancement of oneself.
Bibliography
- Aardema, F. et al. (2013). Fear of Self and Obsessionality: Development and Validation of the Fear of Self Questionnaire. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders 2 (3): 306–315
- Guidano, VF, Liotti, G. (1983). Cognitive Processes and Emotional Disorders: A Structural Approach to Psychotherapy. Guilford Publications.
- Higgins, et (1987). Self-Discrepancy: A Theory Relating Self and Affect. Psychological Review, 94(3), 319–340.
- Pietropolli Chamet, G. (2005). Adolescence. Instructions for use. Fabbri Editore.
- VEALE, D., & Roberts, A. (2014). Obsexive-compulsive disorder. BMJ
