We too should be parents not to accelerate the times: thinking about the smartphone as a tool that increases the safety of your child, since it can call you in case of need, it can be an illusion and risks becoming overprote
«Mom, dad, When I can have the smartphone? ” Have you already received this question? If so, what did you answer? Whether or not it has been pronounced by your child, the question could already be one of the themes on the agenda in the family. There is aright age To give the first smartphone to the children?
Let’s start with a clarification: it is difficult and perhaps counterproductive to think of anspecific age that it is valid for each context: while it can be much more useful to ask what the reasons that push to buy a phone for the son or daughter and how much he or she is really ready to use it. Until a few years ago, the first smartphone usually reached the First degree secondary schoolbut recently the average age has lowered and today often comes as a gift around the 8-9 yearsoften in correspondence with the first communion. And not only that: an interesting research of the University of Milan Bicocca of 2021 detects how one in ten child has its own smartphone already before 6 years.
Therefore, instead of establishing an age that is universally valid, it would be preferable to evaluate context for context, family for family. Every time my son (who is currently 8 years old) he asks me when he has his first smartphone, so far I have always answered with another question: “What would you do, if you had the smartphone?“. For now, his answer is confused. He considers him a tool to play, to take photos, to see the videos. My explanations – precisely again: for now! – On the fact that for each of these activities it is not necessary to have their own phone worked. However, I expect an age in which, surrounded by companions who own it, not having this object will constitute a form of exclusion. And therefore, what to do?
Better not to be in a hurry to give the smartphone
Acting on the reason that our child wishes the object can be one good strategy To contain his “haste”. However, we parents should also not accelerate the times: thinking about the smartphone as a tool that increases the security of your childsince it can call you in case of need, it can be an illusion and risks becoming overprotection.
In addition, if it is true that with the smartphone we know at any time where it is And if it is true that he can contact us in case of need, we should also think that we are delivering him a passe-partout To have access to any type of contentto establish contacts with any subject on the planet and that the consequences of his actions and behaviors begin to have an extension beyond the spatial and temporal borders of the physical space that lives.
But, therefore, what can be the right time to give your child the smartphone? I try to provide the answer by using a comparison: when would you send your child alone on the other side of your city (or for those who live in the smaller countries, in a 10 kilometer distant country)? Also in this case the answer is of course subjective and depends on the context: first, however, to make him cross a city alone, let’s try to take a public vehicle with him, showing him the road he has to take, we show him theItinerary on a mapwe make him understand how to check the bus number, the timetable, the journey; We also make it aware that we must buy and obliterate the ticket and maybe we also try to make him understand that there could be a pickpocket on the bus.
We also invite him to look outside the window for be aware Which journey is doing, what is the way to book the stop to get off and who are the most reliable people to ask for information in case of need. I diluted myself, but, if you try to translate each of these actions for theUse of the smartphoneI think it may be evident how to understand if your child is ready to receive this object you could meanwhile start from informs and trying to understand if it understands what he does (and what Not Fa) a smartphone, therefore also what are the potential he is risks of the instrument.
No smartphones up to 13-14 years?
I still didn’t answer the question with which we started the article. Aware of being able to seem an extremist, I believe that an adequate age to deliver a property of ownership are the 13-14 years. As already mentioned, however, they are at the same time aware that waiting so much can generate a sense of exclusion in our child, especially in contexts in which, already during the first grade secondary school, they exist WhatsApp groups of companionsuseful for exchanging information (but also to get distracted) and the first attendance of social networks begin to 13 yearsor even before in many cases.
Coming to more realistic suggestions, it is desirable to “contain” the request at least for the entire primary school and try to promote up to 10-11 years Forms of co-use of the parent’s instrument (that is, accompanying it during research and uses, without delivering the tool) and shared discovery of digital languages, programs and possibilities of the camera, as well as the dynamics existing in social networks.
However, a phone that is owned by his ownership is not recommended before 6 years: one thing is if it is a phone always off that works as a tool for symbolic game (as it plays to cook, because it shouldn’t play calling, taking imaginary photos and sending messages?), Another story is if the smartphone It lights up and can be used. Before 6 years, the child needs direct and concrete experiences and it is not advisable to encourage interaction with digital tools in solitude.
Even those parents who choose to make their child use the smartphone can temporarily lend their own. It is important to make the child understand that someone else’s object is using, so he must ask for permission to take it.
What to know before buying a smartphone for a child
Before arriving at the purchase, perhaps, it may be useful to recover an old phone, perhaps favoring its use without sim through the WiFi network of homein order to be able to observe its ways of interaction within the home, to provide explanations when necessary and to gradually lead to forms of self -regulation. That is, making sure that not only our child is aware of what the rules are, but then he himself is able to independently respect these rules or even to impose them in order not to remove time from other forms of experience.
Running to buy a smartphone before even the child has understood how he can use it is not the best choice.
If you intend to postpone the purchase at least towards entry to First degree secondary schoolother tools and other experiences can be offered, which are offline (like a camera or a digital microscope), but which allow you to experiment with the potential of multimedia languages. Digital could thus gradually appear and the discovery of its risks and opportunities could be mediated by the parent.
Is giving your smartphone at Christmas a good idea?
Giving the smartphone to Christmas is one good idea? I am not here to judge the choices of the parents and I limit myself to providing some reflections Together for those mothers and dads who, at this time of the year, are evaluating this hypothesis.
Thinking about Christmas to buy the smartphone could be an interesting choice, if you think that in those days the parent could have more time (even if not everyone is!) To be together and start Find out and use it together. At the same time, however, identifying Christmas as an opportunity to give the smartphone could push parents to make hasty choices and not really realize if the child is ready for his first smartphone.
I also believe that thinking about the smartphone as a prize is not desirable: reward the boy, for example, for a promotion gives further charm to the object and the AA children do not help achieve better school results with prizes or punishments. It could be more sensible to identify an age (10 years? 11? 12? 13? 14?: Each family can legitimately define when) and think about the purchase in correspondence of the birthday. Or think of an important phase (entry to first grade secondary school?), In which the responsibilities and new experiences to live increase mark the entry into one New phase of growth.
Which smartphone model?
I am a pedagogy researcher and I’m not a technologist. So, if you think in this paragraph of having a specific suggestion, perhaps you will be disappointed. But, just as a pedagogist, I want to give you advice: Avoid buying (regardless of your financial resources) a particularly expensive object.
And let’s go back to the question: Why does your child need the smartphone? To take photographs? If so, the purchase of a digital camera is welcome. To chat with his teammates? For instant messaging services, the most performing phones of the range are not needed. Also in this case, I start from a comparison: you hardly think about buying one luxury machine or a SUV at 18 years old.
Better to learn to drive with smaller car, and then (whoever wishes and who can afford) move to more expensive models. And then, a good start could be to recover yours old smartphonesreset them and starting to download the applications that are considered necessary, managing the phone with the same care with which you should manage a space in your home. For all this, I am repetitive, but I think it is very important, it is essential that theadult is presentask yourself questions, observe and accompany.
