Anxiety from sexual performance

THE’performance anxiety sexual It is an experience that can make you feel inadequate, generating frustration and sometimes even anger. It is a much more common difficulty than you think. According to a 2019 review, sexual performance anxiety affects 9% to 25% of men and from 6% to 16% of women, seriously inhibiting sexual desire in the latter (Pyke, 2020). The mechanism that is triggered is a real vicious circle: a single negative event, even far in time, can act like a trigger, unleashing the fear that the failure will repeat itself. This stress ends up inhibiting sexual response, hindering erection or, on the contrary, accelerating orgasm.

Who lives theanxiety performance It tends to enter a state of alert. The mind anticipates intimacy by imagining catastrophic scenarios, and the body responds accordingly. This often leads to avoid situations that could lead to sexual intercourse, or to live them with a constant sense of vigilance. Attention moves completely to the performancetransforming what it should be a relational and emotional pleasure in an exam to be passed.

On a physical level, performance anxiety often translates into concrete events, which are then those that generate greater concern and discomfort. The most common in theanxiety from man sexual performance they can be:

• premature ejaculationwhich can be linked to the unconscious desire to quickly conclude a situation perceived as a stressful
• difficulty in reaching or maintaining erectionsince tension and anxiety are physiologically opposed to the relaxation necessary for a full sexual response.

Where does performance anxiety come from? The most common causes

Often, this form of anxiety has its roots in theinexperience or in theinsecurity typical of the first approaches to sexuality. Other times, it can emerge later, perhaps After a single episode of sexual difficulty who undermines the trust in his ability to give pleasure to the partner.

The consequences can be different depending on the personal situation: who is single He can find himself fighting with a drop in self -esteem and closing themselves in themselves, while those who are in pairs can see the intimacy and the relationship itself slowly sought under the weight of the pressure.

Premature ejaculation: a more common experience than you think

It is important to know that about one person out of three lives or will experience the experience ofpremature ejaculation At least once. It is not at all unusual that it occurs during the first relationships, with a new partner or after a long period of abstinence. It is a physiological reaction, not an inability indicator.

However, when an episode of this type generates persistent anxiety, it is essential not to underestimate it. If it is not faced, theperformance anxiety It can become like a river in flood, whose waters can ‘to overflow’ from the sexual sphere and have repercussions in other areas of life, from the work to the sporting or relational one.

Performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction: are they the same thing?

Even if the symptoms may seem similar, it is essential to distinguish the two conditions, because the causes are very different. It can happen in both cases that the erection is lost or is not reachedbut the origin of the problem changes everything.

In erectile dysfunction, the difficulty is linked to an organic cause, an impairment of the physical mechanism that allows erection. In the performance anxiety, however, the physical mechanism is fully functional. The difficulty is psychological.

An important clue to distinguish the two situations is that, in case of performance anxiety, the erection is generally present during masturbation or manifests itself spontaneously at night or in the morning. This indicates that the body is able to respond, but it is the mind that blocks it in situations of intimacy with another person.

Who are to contact? Psychologist, sexologist or andrologist

Understanding the nature of the problem is the first step to find the right solution. If the difficulties are linked to anxiety, the most suitable path is the one with one psychotherapistpossibly with a specialization in sexology, to work on the psychological roots of discomfort. If, on the other hand, an organic cause or one is suspected erectile dysfunctionit is essential to consult a andrologist. Also in this case, a path of psychological support can be a precious ally to manage the emotional impact of the diagnosis.

How can a psychotherapy path help?

A psychotherapeutic path offers a safe space to face the problem. A 2019 review highlighted, for example, how MindFulness-based therapies (MBT) can be used effectively to improve sexual desire and satisfaction and to reduce anxiety and negative cognitive schemes related to sexuality (Jerek & Lew-Starowicz, 2019). Among the main objectives of therapeutic work we find:

• deepen the personal history To understand when and how anxiety began to manifest itself
• Change negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs about sexuality and performance
• improve the relationship with oneselfworking on self -esteem and acceptance of one’s body and pleasure
• move the focus from the performance to the connection, to rediscover intimacy with the partner and shared pleasure.

The final goal is to accompany the person to de-cost the association between sex and anxiety, orienting physical and mental energies towards greater emotional and relational involvement, in order to finally be able to Find a full and serene sexual health.