Asssertiveness training

“Libero is the one who must neither suffer nor dominate for being someone” (F. Dostoevsky)

The assertive behaviorTo be learned, it requires time and exercise, as it concerns a range of complex skills that involve self -knowledge, listening to one’s emotions, the desire and the ability to show oneself and enter into relationship with the other in a respectful way. To learn and practice certain concepts, therefore, a real is useful Asssertiveness training. Obviously, it cannot be achieved from today, but needs a training period in which the principles are gradually put into practice, exercising up to internalize them and use them in a very natural way in everyday actions and communication. All this allows you to express your thoughts in total tranquility, establishing sincere and positive interpersonal relationships. As already explained in the previous article onassertivenessthe term derives from the English “to assert”, which means “to assert, affirm”, but also “to freed”, in the latter meaning initially used for the concept of liberation of slaves, later by the 1960s feminist movement, finally moved to the clinical and psychotherapeutic sphere (Jakubowski and Lange, 1978). Therefore, a assertive It is the one who uses a method of communication, verbal and non -verbal, which is a clear and direct expression of his needs, needs, preferences, will, desires and/or intentions, however also taking into account the feelings and emotions of the person with whom he communicates. It implies an awareness of the person regarding one’s self -sufficiency and affective autonomy, combined with self -confidence and in one’s own abilities. It is, in fact, the right way, along a continuum, between passive and aggressive behavior. The inventor of the ASSERTIVE training It can be considered Wolpe (1958), who states that assertiveness It consists in the expression of all feelings, except anxiety, while the first to apply a training of social skills (Social Skills) is considered Salter (1949). It can be carried out in session between therapist and patient (with due changes), but is generally carried out in a group (Rimm and Masters, 1974). The Asssertiveness training And that of social skills are applied in various clinical areas, especially for the treatment of social anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, couple problems, obsessive-compulsive disorder, dependence on substances, agoraphobia, sexual disorders, social disdain in children (Caballo, 1995). It can be counted among the most successful practices typical of the cognitive-behavioral therapywithin which, as an assumption, the difficulties and problems of the subject are considered not so much as the signs of illness, but as a lack of skill and therefore learned. For example, a person who appears shy, closed, who does not have the courage to say what he thinks, is often lacking in the skills necessary in the social sphere. The cognitive-behavioral psychotherapist is, in this sense, as an authoritator, a “educator”, a trainer, an expert who teaches, which model, suggests, who makes you think and teaches. The Asssertiveness trainingin fact, initially was born as a methodology to treat social anxiety symptoms: people often say “I am shy”, “I am anxious”, believing that their difficulties depend exclusively on their character and their personality, while in reality they are influenced by elements of learning and interaction with the environment. Those who have this type of difficulty have not developed a varied repertoire of skills and adaptive responses, avoid feared situations, has a low level of competence and various cognitive distortions in the different social situations (e.g. “if I say what I think, I am afraid that others can judge me badly and put aside”; “If I answer no, the others could think that I am a selfish”). The purpose of learning it assertive style through the Asssertiveness training It is not so much to be asserted (to become “hard”), but rather to feel good with others, feeling free to manifest and express what you think and feel, however taking into account the same rights of others. In the clinical application, therefore, it translates into a structured situation, as already mentioned individual or group, which aims to have the systematic development, in subjects with social and relationship difficulties, of an ability called “Assertiveness”understood as a set of social and communication skills, including the ability to produce answers capable of inhibiting states of anxiety and guaranteeing social adaptation. The possession of these skills must be such as to allow the individual to recognize and manifest their needs (social, emotional, biological, etc.) according to the principle that each person, in an interpersonal relationship, has the same fundamental human rights of another person regardless of roles, functions or anything else. The ultimate goal of Asssertiveness training It is the modification of anassertive behavior (passive or aggressive) in assertive through various passages, such as:

1. the correction of behaviors that perpetuate passive/aggressive conduct;
2. the awareness of perceptual channels and communication education;
3. the strengthening of the precise selection and identification faculties of the stimuli;
4. control of anxiety with relaxation.
5. learning new responses.