Each of us, in different stages of life, may have experienced at least one experience of treason, by a family member, a friend or a social group, or by a partner.
Unfortunately it is a rather common experience: a study found that 51.9% of the participants reported having undergone at least one trauma of treason (Goldsmith et al., 2012).
But why does betrayal cause us so much suffering?
What is betrayal in psychology?
Betrayal, in psychology, is not only an action, but the breakdown of an implicit or explicit trusted pact that bases a relationship. This pact can concern sexual loyalty, friendly loyalty, family support or professional sincerity.
It is a violation of the expectations that can generate a deep narcissistic wound, questioning not only the relationship with the other, but also the perception of oneself and its value.
Why does betrayal cause so much suffering?
The suffering linked to betrayal is acute because it affects fundamental human needs. Involves:
- The loss of trust: The safe basis on which the relationship was built, generating a sense of instability and uncertainty about the future, can be lost. For this reason, a betrayal can cause the loss of the sense of belongingsince mutual proximity is violated, such as the sharing of a secret or ideal.
- The sense of refusal and exclusion: Feeling betrayed can be equivalent to being excluded from an ‘us’, an alliance that was believed solid. This activates the same areas of physical pain in the brain.
- The questioning of identity: Often we also define ourselves through relationships. A betrayal can bring down the idea that you have of oneself, of one’s past and choices.
The psychological consequences of betrayal
The impact of a betrayal can be deep and manifest itself with different symptoms and moods, including:
- Anxious symptoms and post-traumatic stress: intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance and difficulty sleeping.
- sadness and low self -esteem: Sadness, feelings of emptiness, fault and inadequacy.
- Social isolation: Difficulty in trusting others again and tendency to retire.Ift
- Anger and aggression: Frustration and resentment that can manifest themselves intensely.
How to overcome a betrayal: a healing path
Overcoming a betrayal is a process that may take time and commitment. There is no magic formula, but some steps can help elaborate pain and reconstruct their well -being:
- Accept emotions: Allow yourself to feel anger, pain, sadness without judgment. They are natural and valid reactions.
- Avoid self -culturalization: The responsibility for the betrayal is of those who perform it. Avoid seeking in you the causes of others’ behavior.
- Take care of yourself: focus on your physical and mental well -being. Dedicate time to activities that make you feel good, such as sport, hobby or spending time with trusted people.
- Establish boundaries: That you decide to close the relationship or to try to recover it, it is essential to establish new and clear boundaries to protect yourself.
- Look for professional support: Talking to a therapist can provide a safe space to process trauma, understand relational dynamics and develop strategies to go on.
Finding trust: a possible path with UnaBravo
The betrayal leaves deep scars, but it must not be a condemnation. It can represent a painful experience which, if processed correctly, can become an opportunity to get to know each other better, redefine one’s needs and build healthy and aware future relationships.
Dressing this path alone can be difficult. A professional can help you give your emotions a name, to manage pain and find confidence in yourself and others. If you feel you need a support, we at Unebravo are here for you. Start the questionnaire to find your online psychologist
