Sometimes this question hides the fear of exposing the baby to experiences not suitable for its growth phase, or a separation trauma. The searches tell us instead that the nest is an important resource for both the child and the family
Anna is 2 years old and is cared for by a babysitter, “a splendid lady who takes care of her with attention and grace”, says the mother, “also organizing a series of activities with other children to the playroom and the park, almost every day”. Anna’s father insists that the little girl frequent the nest, claiming that it must be more with her peers, do more structured activities and acquire greater autonomy. In the house there is discussion on what to do: is the nest really an opportunity for development for a child?
Francesco and Laura agreed to enroll his son at the nest, but they wonder what the best time is to do it. Laura will return to work when the baby is 7 and a half months old: is it better to start inserting a little earlier, when the mother is still at home? Or delay a few months, entrusting the little one to the grandparents?
On the topic of registration in the nursery school, the questions are manifold and often accompany fears and concerns (in this article we are talking about Covid-19 and insertion at school). Let’s try to clarify a little to help parents live the moments of separation from their child with serenity.
An instinctive sense of protection
There are many emotions at stake, including the fear of being able to expose their child to experiences not suitable for its growth phase, or trauma and suffering due to separation. All this is understandable: We are talking about very young children, of whom it is not immediate to understand the needs and which arouse in us an instinctive sense of protection. In many cases, then, entry to the nursery is not a free choice: it is often linked to the return to the work of the mother and, sometimes, is conditioned by the absence of family members who can take care of the child. In these cases, the emotional load, often accompanied by sense of guilt, insecurity, jealousy towards educators, makes the decision even more difficult.
Nest, grandparents or babysitters?
Search tells us that The “best” formula is the frequency of a quality nest associated with a family time equally of quality. We know how important it is that the child, in the first years of life, spend his days near the care figures, with which to create a good attachment relationship that will constitute his “safe base” to grow and explore reality. On the other hand, it is true that the “wealth” of that time, which must be dedicated to activities that favor the interaction between adult and child (so to speak, not in front of the cartoons or the iPads!).
The same goes for kindergartens. Not all nests are equivalent, and what makes the difference for the growth of the child is the quality of the offerin its multiple elements: environment, spaces, furnishings, materials, training and experience of personnel, relationships with the family, a pedagogical project.
The benefits of the nest
Comparing time lived with the care figures with that offered by the nest does not make much sense, because they are substantially different experiences. Attending the nest offers the child the opportunity to experiment in an external but “protected” context; This does not mean diminishing fundamental relationships with parents and family members who have characterized his first months of life, but enriched them with new resources. The experiences that the child can live in a quality nest are different from the housewives: at the nest the environment is thought and equipped according to the baby; Although, from attentive parents, we can organize the home to a “child measure”, we will hardly have the opportunity to offer our child a space in which he can move so freely, experiment with sensory activities, to live the natural environment in the increasingly frequent proposals of Outdoor Educationlearn “doing” with materials suitable for its growth and so on. Even more evident are the aspects related to the possibilities of socialization, game, sharing, language, emotional and relational life with other children and with educators as significant adults.
The searches have highlighted how family care and that of the nest should not be alternative but complementary. In order for this to be realized, however, it is necessary that the choice of the nest considers the specific characteristics of each child and each family, as well as the services present in the area.
When to start?
The ideal age would be between the year and a half and the 2 years of life, when the children have acquired a basic maturation (physical, cognitive, emotional, relational) that allows them to be able to enjoy the experience in all its potential.
However, it is not possible to establish the “perfect” moment a priori, and it is necessary rather to evaluate the growth phase, the family needs, the lifestyle that the family leads in relation to the child. It will therefore be useful to ask questions such as: “Who is it during the day?”; “Do you leave the house?”; “What experiences lives?”; “How long does he spend with his parents?”
Much also depends on the type of service offered: For children under the year of age, the structures that welcome few children in a comfortable and family space are more suitable (micronid, nestophamille or home educational services), able to offer contact, affection, safety, regularity in daily rhythms, as well as a stable reference figure.
Even the hours of attendance should be adapted to each child: a few hours a day for children of a few months, to be increased gradually. Often it is the work needs of the parents who “decide” on what to do, and there are not few children who spend almost the whole day at the nest. In these cases it will be important, both for the child and for parents, recover the time of detachment with the care and physical and emotional contact.
The necessary alliance
The nest is an important resource for the child and becomes even more if the service offered and the family environment can benefit from each other.
The parents, helped in their task by the qualified observations of the educational staff, will be able to find in the constant confrontation with the latter the answer to questions and concerns about “what is best” for their child, on how to customize the experience of the nest and manage the changes that the child will have to face.
