Fear of dying and Covid-19
Each of us, especially in this period of emergency and uncertainty, thought at least once about death. Or because we were affected directly or because the challenge to the disease, which concerns the whole country, inevitably touched us, even just through a news on the news.
The reactions in the face of this theme can be different, depending on the personal and character characteristics. Clearly who came to Direct contact with the disease Or worse still the death due to Covid-19 or the health difficulties that the virus has imposed, has also had to deal with mourning, a mourning that we could define complicated.
Complicated because in this situation death is tinged with colors that we have rarely seen (the desaparecidos in Argentina can come to mind), in which the death is without a bodywithout the possibility of celebrating it through a ritual (funeral or greeting to the body) and therefore without sharing.
In addition, the above information compared to the type of death that is due are frightening and lead to terrible images and patterns on how you can dies.
It is therefore, therefore, that of death and fear of dying, very current for the social and health context we are experiencing. But for many people it was also previously to this emergency, as they are linked to psychopathological problems that we see below.
Fear of dying and family environment
There fear of dying It is found in numerous disorders involving mental health, as a basic fear that leads to developing the symptom or as an existential condition, linked to personological aspects.
As human beings we are the only conscious species of our existence, and this allows us to think about ourselves, leading to two types of consequences. These are placed at the poles of a continuum that goes from being terrified for the fact that we must all die And that can happen at any moment, to try to live life in the best possible way because it is the only one we have.
We are not born with the fear of dying. In fact, children up to three, four years are not aware of death and therefore cannot worry about it. The idea is too abstract, far from one’s experience made of play, actions, entertainment, nourishment and sharing.
They do not understand what it means to disappear forever. Only over time do you learn to understand that there is a “thing” called “death” that takes away people forever. This gradual awareness allows to assimilate the reluctant idea that sooner or later it is up to everyone, favoring its acceptance around ten, eleven years old.
Anxiety of death in children
But we can see how, for some children, there have been anxious about the topic already as children. This happens when the family environment does not meet the needs necessary to give that “emotional nourishment” that allows you to also accept aterrible idea like that of death.
Children abandoned to themselves, not cared for, not seen, see their world decay and must make sense of this degradation, but do not have the emotional and cognitive skills to cope with it.
On the other hand, children who have had loving and careful mothers, have the opportunity to mitigate the anxieties relating to the fears of death and integrate them within their system of meanings. Children who have had this type of experience, will develop a safe basis as adults and will not be subject to fear of annihilation or fear of death.
In this condition, death is integrated into one’s own vision of the world, but the idea does not poison self -security during life.
Fear of dying and personality disorders
The dysfunctional family and environmental conditions described above can lead to the structuring of a personality disorder. That is, a constant pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly compared to the expectations of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, begins in adolescence or in the early adulthood, is stable over time and determines discomfort or impairment (Apa, 2014).
For example, we find the fear of dying In the narcissistic personality disorder, when the profound sense of emptiness, which derives from historical experiences of emotional deprivation, peeps out. This happens when these people do not feel admired by others, and enter a state of solitude, in which the thought of death becomes terrifying. There fear of death Thus enters to weigh down the terrific depressive mental state, in which they imagine themselves alone until the end.
Sometimes even in the employee disorder of personality we find existential themes relating to death. In this case, when you lose the person to rely on, the true lack of purposes and desires emerges, the central heart of this disorder. Death thus becomes yet another meaningless themeof which you may be afraid, if you think it can be lived by yourself, so unable to face it.
Fear of dying and panic disorder
If we bring attention to other disorders we can observe that the fear of dying is a typical thought during the first panic attacks.
In fact, the person who experiences a panic attackwith the relative physical and physiological manifestations of hyperactivation, it can fear of losing control, crazy or dying. In the latter case, symptoms such as palpitations, chest pains, feeling of flag or fainting, can lead to believing they have a heart attack, an ischemia and therefore to be in terms of death.
Usually the medical investigations avoid this eventuality, but the person is now fearing to be able to try again this state and the panic disorderat the base of which is the fear of feeling again like this, as during the first attacks.
After the first episodes of panicusually the individual understands that his life is not in danger and no longer fears of dying, how much to experience the frightening physical and physiological sensations and it is this dysfunctional thought that increases anxiety and leads to a new attack or of protective avoidance and behaviors (do not go to the cinema) that keep the disorder.
Fear of dying and disease anxiety disorder
Contrary to what common sense leads us to believe, in disease anxiety disorder (ex hypochondria) the basic fear is not so much the fear of dyingas much as the terribility and unbearability of the condition of illness.
In fact, often, it is believed that those who care about physical symptoms as a sign of a disease are worried about dying. In reality, the basic concern concerns the inability to deal with the condition of illness materially and emotionally.
The catastrophic interpretations of body anomalies are centered on possible long -term fatal results, rather than imminent, as it happens in panic.
Cognitive behavioral treatment
It is rare that the fear of dying It is treated as a symptom in itself, like a phobia (tanatophobia). In fact, it is more a condition that must be defined within the psychopathological framework in which it unfolds, whether they are personological, symptomatological or both aspects.
When the theme of death is linked to aspects of dysfunctional personality, the work is wide. In summary, it consists in providing that emotional nourishment that has been missing in childhood, helping the person to build personal purposes and desires and give new meanings related to death, which can be integrated into the system of values by the patient.
While as regards thoughts related to death in symptomatological disorders such as panic disorder and anxiety disorder for health, cognitive renovation, work on mobble and rumination and on the management of emotions, used in cognitive behavioral therapy, are valid tools.
Practical advice
In general it is possible to follow some indications for manage the fear of deathwhich are also useful in this historical moment of difficulty and emergency.
Focus on what is under control
It is not possible to control what will happen in the future, neither a disease nor death.
But you can check what we do, here and now. And this matters. Because what we do, here and now, can make a huge difference for ourselves and for anyone who lives near us (Harris, 2020).
In the first place we can recognize thoughts and feelings taking on the position of a curious scientist: observing what is happening in one’s inner world, without judging. And while recognizing thoughts and feelings, continue doing what you were doing.
It is important to make room for difficult feelings and try to be kind to yourself
Unpleasant feelings are “programmed” to continue to manifest themselves while this crisis develops: fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, fault, solitude, frustration, confusion and many others.
We cannot prevent them from emerging, they are normal reactions. But we can choose to open up and make them space: recognize that they are normal, allow them to be there (even if they hurt) and treat us kindly as we experience it.
Return in contact with the body
- Try to feel in the body if there is a point without tension and that can be identified with a feeling of calm. Focusing it and, starting from that point, let the calm feeling of that part be expanded, perceiving its propagation with closed eyes.
- Decrease the voltage of the shoulders, as if they were to give in to gravity and align the column, perceiving the back straight, but not rigid.
- If you carry a hand on the part of the body that feels most tension, it is possible to notice the feeling of heat during the self-contracted.
- Bring the attention to the buttocks resting on the chair, relax them as if they occupied all the space. Sitting soft and relaxing the support on the chair.
- Feel the feet resting on the floor and the sensation of roots it offers (as if our feet were the roots of a tree).
Participate in what is being done
Watching the environment as you have never looked at it before, with curiosity and without judgment: what do you see? Look the whole room, rotating the neck. Do you see the colors? The writings? Do you see some particular objects? Do you feel noises in the room? Out of the room? Do you have any flavor in your mouth? What kind of flavor is it? Do you feel your clothes on the skin? Shoes? Can you touch your arm? Observe meticulously what is around us allows you to be in contact with the present moment.
Do the things that really matter
There are simple ways to take care of yourself. What kind, caring and support actions is it possible to do? During self -isolation or social distancing, what are the most effective ways to spend that time?
Some suggestions concern the exercise to stay in shape, cook healthy food, listen to music, write, take care of animals, read, do significant activities alone or with others (Psychology Tools Limited, 2020). If you are familiar with Mindfulness, or other awareness -based approaches, you can actively practice some of these awareness skills.
Follow your values
The actions we do should be guided by their fundamental values: what is it important to fight this crisis for this crisis? What kind of person do you want to be while crossing this period? How do you want to treat yourself and others?
Your values could include love, respect, humor, patience, courage, honesty, care, openness, kindness … or numerous others.
It is important to find useful ways to “sprinkle” these values in your day.
Only by finding purposes, desires and objectives that fall within your reference values, the fear of death can be managed and take on another meaning.
Bibliography
- American Psychiatric Association (2014). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Fifth edition. DSM-5. Milan: Raffaello Cortina publisher.
- Harris, R. (2020). “Face Covid” how to respond effectively to the crisis crown virus. www.thehappinessrap.com.
- Psychology Tools Limited. Coexist with concern and anxiety between global uncertainty. All rights reserves (2020).
