How long does it take to get over an ex (according to science)?

How long does it take to get over an ex (according to science)?

By Dr. Kyle Muller

After four years we are only halfway through processing the trauma and it takes another four to forget, but the time varies depending on the relationship.

Getting over an ex-partner takes more than four years just to get to the halfway point. This is suggested by a study from the University of Illinois (USA), which however underlines how the time needed to emotionally detach from the ex can vary considerably from person to person.

The study. The researchers interviewed 328 adults of both sexes, with an average age of 32, who had been in a relationship longer than two years. The goal was to understand how finite emotional bonds evolve.

Painful traces. By analyzing memories and residual feelings towards the ex, the results showed that most people manage to recover, but slowly: on average it takes about eight years for the emotional bond to weaken almost completely. This is not a rule, as the time needed varies depending on the type of relationship.

dependence. Those who maintain contact with their ex, as well as those who experience the relationship with anxiety and a strong emotional dependence, tend to prolong the bond over time. Thus, in some cases, emotional traces remain even after many years and may never disappear completely.

Kyle Muller
About the author
Dr. Kyle Muller
Dr. Kyle Mueller is a Research Analyst at the Harris County Juvenile Probation Department in Houston, Texas. He earned his Ph.D. in Criminal Justice from Texas State University in 2019, where his dissertation was supervised by Dr. Scott Bowman. Dr. Mueller's research focuses on juvenile justice policies and evidence-based interventions aimed at reducing recidivism among youth offenders. His work has been instrumental in shaping data-driven strategies within the juvenile justice system, emphasizing rehabilitation and community engagement.
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