Loneliness for those approaching adulthood is not a lack of connections, but a lack of routine: big changes take time away from friends.
Scientific studies and common sense have already attested to the spread of an epidemic of loneliness among young adults, perhaps – but not only – a legacy of the pandemic. But a monolithic reading of the problem is not useful for finding solutions. Now a study published on PLOS One reveals that, at least for young women, loneliness has more ambiguous and complex contours, and has to do with that specific phase of life in which great changes are faced.
Sunshine despite the net
A group of researchers from the University of Kansas and Michigan State University (United States) linked the age of approximately 4,800 Americans with their level of social well-being or malaise (social connections, friend support, number of friends, perceived loneliness, disconnection). In line with previous studies, the analysis revealed that the period in which one approaches adulthood is characterized by loneliness and disconnection, much more than the phases that precede it (youth) or that follow it (the central period of adulthood).
However, for one group in particular, that of young adult women, this sense of loneliness seemed very ambivalent: women of this age, identifiable in the years following graduation, in fact present a large network of friends, a full agenda of appointments and many changes, in the face of a certain, persistent sense of disconnection.
This double track would be more evident in girls, who tend to dedicate more time to friendships and have higher expectations from bonds, therefore more intimate but more complex to nurture. It happens more often that these expectations are disappointed, and that young adults, although happy with their social network, struggle to make time for it. Hence the tension between well-being on paper and the malaise of relationships in real life.
One revolution after another
At least for a segment of young adults, more often women and more often with an advanced education, loneliness would therefore not be a lack of significant relationships, but more a consequence of the major changes typical of this phase – transfers, job changes, the beginning of stable relationships, marriages and cohabitations, children; positive stages which, however, cause a decline in sociability and which can have practical consequences on social well-being.
The lack of stability and permanence in relationships would weigh on loneliness: there is less time to take care of relationships that are not familiar, after years of abundant and unlimited interactions with friends.
Even the most everyday relationships, friendships born in the workplace, are by nature unstable. On the contrary, people who are older, less educated and have a more predictable routine are less stressed in their relational sphere and show a greater level of social well-being.
A passing phase
The study ends on a positive note: these are still “good” changes, which contribute to self-construction and which can ultimately transform into stability, once people get used to that new skin. If relationships have the patience to wait, and to evolve, there will once again be time to cultivate them.
