Mourning processing: the loss of a loved one

What is mourning

It is possible define mourning like that physiological process that follows the Loss of a loved one. Although each mourning is a different experience, it is now known how recurring reactions can be detectable. These concern the succession of several mental states, which can alternate or mix.

As described by Onofri and La Rosa (2015) many authors dealt with describing the characteristics of mourning, often focusing on different aspects of the same.

In 1944 Lindemann, following an observation carried out on over 100 people who had lost their loved ones following a fire, found and described the recurring characteristics of the physiological mourning. These included:

• somatic disorders
• concerns and guilt relating to the deceased or the circumstances of his death
• hostile reactions
• loss of the functional skills prior to the event
• tendency to take on typical behavioral aspects of the lost person.

Phases of the elaboration of mourning

Lindemann has also identified and described three different stadiums of mourning. The first, of shockincludes the impossibility of accepting the loss, up to the negation of the same. The second, of acute condolenceincludes awareness of loss. It is associated with manifestations such as disinterest in daily activities, crying, sense of solitude, insomnia and loss of appetite. The last stadium, of resolutionon the other hand, implies a gradual resumption of daily activities and was associated with a lower frequency of thoughts relating to the deceased.

In 1980, however, Bowlby described four different phases of the elaboration of mourning.

In the first, of stunning/disbeliefthere is no understanding for what happened and there may be intense pain and anger.

This is followed by that of Research and poisoning for the deceased. Here the awareness of the loss, albeit discontinuous, leads to states of pain and alarm. These are associated with physical modifications typical of stress that include high levels of arousal, vigilance and agitation. Attention can be focused on parts of the environment in which the lost person could be found, which is actively sought.

The third phase described by Bowlby is instead that of disorganization and despairwhich derives from the awareness that the efforts to get the lost person back are useless. This phase includes depressed mood, despair and generalized sadness.

Finally, in the fourth phase, of reorganization More or less successful, the acceptance of the definitiveness of the loss and the need to reorganize one’s life in the awareness of the non -return of the deceased is noted. In order to reach this last stage of processing, the person who has undergone mourning must have managed to contact and manage the painful and intense emotions that the loss involves.

Factors that hinder the elaboration of mourning

As pointed out by Onofri and La Rosa (2015), several authors have focused on other aspects that can influence the mourning process. Thus, as happens for each stressful event, the frontal processes (coping) implemented by those who suffer the loss will have a weight on the way of elaborating and renovating their reality.

As part of the trauma theory, Horowitz (1986) focused on the symptoms of intrusion and avoidance as apparently opposite reactions typically present simultaneously in the trauma. While Janoff-Bulman and Berg (1998) showed that when the loss of a loved one takes place following traumatic circumstances (such as, for example, in cases of suicide, murder or accident), or when death violates the natural order of things (as in the case of the death of a child for a parent), the person adaptation of the person are further urged.

Thus, in line with what is described by the review of the literature exposed by Onofri and La Rosa (2015), the normal loss reactions they can be divided into four main categories:

1. Feelings: Sadness, anger, guilt and self-reproach, anxiety, solitude, asthenia, sense of inhauinability, shock, poisoning, emancipation, relief, stunning.
2. Physical sensations: Sensation of gastric emptiness, thoracic constraint, laryngeal constraint, hypersensitivity to noise, sense of depersonalization, feeling of apnea, muscle weakness, lack of energy, dry mouth.
3. Knowledge: Increduing, confusion, concern with constant thoughts relating to the deceased, a sense of presence of the deceased, hallucinations.
4. Behavior: Sleep and appetite disorders, sighs, hyperactivity, crying, distraction behaviors, social isolation, avoidance of circumstances relating to the deceased, research behaviors and recall of the deceased, visiting places or bringing objects that recall the dear lost.

The normal processing process of mourning

In general, the human being has the ability to face the loss of a loved one. The mourning process It tends spontaneously towards the resolution and is therefore not to be considered a pathological condition. However, for the resolution to be reached, two conditions seem to be necessary: ​​the first concerns theacceptance of loss as definitive.

In line with Bowlby (1980) this does not imply the cancellation or end of the link with the deceased, but an internal reorganization with the transformation of the same. A sort of new way of being in relation to which an internal link is replaced by the bond that needs physical presence to exist.

The second necessary condition for the purpose of the resolution concerns the ability to manage pain which normally accompanies the loss and the mourning process. In line with this, Onofri and La Rosa (2015) describe the resolution as the phase in which the active research of causes, explanations or guilty leaves the space to recognition and acceptance of the loss and its inevitability. Just as to the recognition and appreciation of the good that the relationship with the deceased has led, to find his own personal ways of finding proximity to those who are no longer there and transforming their way of life, taking into account his absence.

The complicated mourning

In general, the resolution can be reached in a period of about 18 months. There is talk, however, of complicated mourning When the process that follows the loss stops in one of the previous stages. Thus, the normal and intense reactions that are expected in the physiological process of mourning remain. They do not attenuate over time and imply repercussions on the general functioning of the person, who persists in adopting cognitive, behavioral and emotional dysfunctional strategies.

In line with what is described, a psychotherapeutic taking charge of people who experience mourning is not considered necessary. However, psychotherapy can prove useful in order to prevent possible complications, or to evaluate the risk that they can manifest themselves. There Takeing Psychotherapeutics Instead, it is important in situations in which mourning becomes complicated and pathological or associated with psychopathological paintings.

Bibliography

• Bowlby J. (1980). Attracchio and loss: Sadness and Depression. New York: Basic Books. (Trad. It.: Attachment and loss. Vol. 3. Turin: Boringhieri, 1983).
• Horowitz MJ (1986). Stress Response Syndromes, Second Edition. Jason Aronson, Northvale. (Trad. It.: Stress response syndromes. Milan: Raffaello Cortina Editore, 2004).
• Janoff-Bulman R., & Berg M. (1998). Disillusionment and the creation of value: from traumatic lossees to existential gains. In J. Harvey (ed.), Perspective on loss: a sourcebook. Washington DC: Taylor & Francis.
• Lindemann E. (1944). The Syptomatology and Management of Acute Grief. American Journal of Psychiatry, 101.
• Onofri, A., & La Rosa, C. (2015). Mourning. Cognitive-evolutionist psychotherapy and EMDR. Rome: Giovanni Fioriti Editore.