The desire to have a child has very deep roots. It is not based only on instinctual or biological aspects, but also social, cultural and relational.
Many women plan the adequate moment to have a child, postponing him waiting to achieve emotional and economic stability. However, when they decide to take this step, they can be found in the face of difficulties in achieving pregnancy.
Once the profound disturbance that derives from the awareness of being infertile and that of having postponed the pregnancy has been overcome, the need to make decisions, to take a new vision of the problem and to evaluate the different alternatives to face it. In this way in the couple a hope is reborn.
Usually, women or couples who turn to a medically assisted procreation center are anxious to proceed immediately with the recommended treatment.
In situations such as early menopause, old age or bankruptcy of previous infertility treatments, the approval of approval approval approval are not decisive and in vitro fertilization is proposed by donation of oocytthe.
In the ovodonation, the donor undergoes an ovarian stimulation monitored and the oocytic withdrawal while the patient is prescribed hormonal the therapy for preparation of the endometrium to receive the embryos that are fertilized in vitro and then transferred.
Ovodonation represents for many women the possibility of realizing the dream of becoming mothers but In some cases, receiving the oocytes of a donor is a difficult and painful choice.
The feeling of mourning, resulting from the diagnosis of infertility, is aggravated by the impossibility of transmitting the genetic heritage to one’s children. Fears on the psychic development of the child, on the mother/son bond, on the couple’s relationship and on the attitude of family members and the concern of not being perceived as the real mother of the child can arise.
The intervention of a donor alters the normality of the procreation process within the couple, and can generate strongly ambivalent feelings. The gratitude and gratitude towards him alternate with fantasies that see her powerful, young and fertile, unrelated to the mourning faced by the infertile patient. The woman can feel a sense of inequality towards the partner, considering it the only genetic parent.
From recent studies, in reality, it was discovered that the relationship between mother and embryo It is able to affect the genetic heritage of the unborn child, even when there are no biological links between the future mother and the fertilized egg.
This discovery was documented in the study conducted by the Foundation from the title “HSA-MIR-30-D, Secred by the Human Endometrium, is Taken up by the pre-implantation embryo and mimify it transscriptome”. The research was published in the scientific journal Development of the English association of biologists and geneticists who showed how communication between mother and embryo can change the genetic information of the newborn even in the event of ovodonation.
Some particular conditions in which women can be found are able to change their cells, even those of the endometrium. This determines such a change that in its secretion the genetic information of the mother then absorbed by the embryo is issued.
This communication can ensure that specific functions are expressed or inhibited or thus giving rise to the aforementioned changes. This discovery confirms the existence, for some time hypothesized, of an exchange of information between endometrium and embryo.
In the presence of certain pathological conditions, in fact, as in the case of obesity, diabetes, but also of tabagism, endometrial cells modify the activity of their genes, influencing, in this way, also embryonic development. This would explain the process of transmission, between the mother and the child, of some physical characteristics as well as some childhood diseases such as diabetes and obesity.
This discovery will allow us in the future to avoid the transmission of some diseases when their cause is epigenetic, that is, those diseases that occur following changes in the expression, and therefore in the activity, of one or more genes without the structure being changed.
A further study published by “Nature Genetics” would demonstrate that the patient who receives the egg, for an epigenetic phenomenon, manages to change the original imprinting, transmitting part of its characteristics to the child.
The future mother is able to change the genome of the son even if the egg is of another woman. In any case, the period of gestation of that embryo, although the female component has been donated, creates a very profound physical and psychoemotive bond with the mother. And it is certainly not to be neglected that it will give birth to it and breastfeed: all essential aspects for which that child, albeit conceived by a donated egg, is perceived and loved as in all respects.
The mothers who welcome an ovodonation, therefore, would transmit something of himself to the child conceived by the ovulus of another woman and must not be considered simple passive incubators.
Ovodonation is experienced by each patient in a different way depending on the singularity of their psychic structuring. Not all patients or couples dedicate the time necessary to develop the feeling of loss that derives from the awareness of not being able to have children.
When they learn about the diagnosis of infertility, they often make hasty decisions by undergoing multiple treatments, driven by the concern of wasting precious time. The time to deepen the emotional implications that assisted reproduction techniques involve.
Set an artificial fertilization treatment arouses feelings of impatience, trust, hope, optimism, disappointment. The sense of frustration for one’s inability to procreate is constant, which is intensified by the need to resort to a donor.
A psychological intervention appropriate can facilitate the expression of one’s emotional experiences, personal difficulties, couple and interpersonal, helping to prevent anxious states and examine the emotions involved in the reproductive path, ranging from denial to the acceptance of the problem.
In this context, the relationship with relatives, friends and acquaintances plays an important role, who often ask the couple when he will have children. Patients should be helped to decide freely whether to share this experience with other people, evaluating pros and cons.
The socio-family pressure can induce patients to isolate themselves, also from other couples who have had children, and who unconsciously remarking their inability to have them. By avoiding social contacts, the only support is sought within the couple, generating greater tension in a situation in which both need support.
It is important that patients can make use of an external support to achieve adequate emotional balance, useful for dealing with infertility problems and interacting with the surrounding environment. Psychological support should intensify in the period of waiting for the result of the pregnancy test, just when patients feel alternate feelings of fear, hope and happiness. In this phase it is also necessary to speak openly about the possibility of a possible negative outcome at the end of the treatment.
Failure to pregnancy represents one of the most difficult moments of the whole process, in which the absence of a reward for the efforts made is perceived. By relying on assisted reproduction techniques, the feeling of loss linked to infertility can be remedied if pregnancy is not obtained and with it they resurface pain, frustration, fear and failure.
It is important to evaluate the possible alternatives to procreation, such as adoption or live without children, deepening their experiences of acceptance or refusal regarding the failure to parentory.
It can be of great help to try to enhance what you already have (friends, relationships, projects, interests), trying not to hit your life on what you don’t have.
Undertake the path of assisted reproduction treatments, and ovodonation in particular, can be very tiring from an emotional, personal and relational point of view. Adequate psychological support, aimed at containing doubts, suffering and fears, can be of considerable help in facing this process with due serenity.
