“I have everything. Or, at least, no apparent reason to be unhappy. I have a family that loves me, a roof over my head, a job that all in all fulfills me. Yet, when I go to bed in the evening, I feel a feeling of emptiness insidean incompleteness that sometimes makes me feel sad inside.”
“The days pass by and I struggle to truly enjoy anything. I keep asking myself what I’m missing, but I can’t find an answer.”
These thoughts may sound familiar to many people. Experiment with one feeling of inner emptiness it is a human experience, a signal that deserves to be listened to. In this article we will delve into the meaning of this state of mind, exploring the possible causes and strategies to deal with it, with the aim of giving a name and meaning to what you feel.
Feeling empty inside: what does it mean?
That of feeling empty it is a difficult sensation to describe, often perceived as an absence, a lack of color and depth in one’s existence. It can manifest itself as a emotional emptinessa sense of disconnection from ourselves and others, almost as if an essential piece of the puzzle of our lives is missing. But what is this, from a psychological point of view inner emptiness?
In psychology, the sense of inner emptiness it is not an emotion in itself, but rather a state of mind that can hide or accompany other emotions. Recognizing them is the first step to understanding what is stirring beneath the surface. Among the most common we find:
- boredom
- apathy
- sadness
- the shame.
Feeling of emptiness: what are the symptoms?
The sense of emptiness it doesn’t just manifest on a mental level. Often the body speaks for us, translating this discomfort into concrete physical sensations. Between the symptoms the most common ones that can accompany this perception, together with the sensation of feeling alone, we find:
- lump in the throat
- a sense of fatigue and heaviness
- discomfort in some parts of the body.
It is important to underline that experiencing these sensations in isolated moments is part of life. We all go through more tiring days than others, in which emotions can appear dull or difficult to decipher. A fleeting experience of emptiness is not necessarily a warning sign.
The existential voidto some extent, is part of the human condition. The problem arises when this sensation stops being a passing shadow and becomes a constant presence. If the sense of emptiness interior persists, reaching the point of generating anxietyanguish or a deep sadnessthen it might be time to stop and find the courage to look more closely at this internal void.
What are the causes of inner emptiness?
Where does the feeling of come from? feeling empty inside? The causes can be multiple and deeply personal. Sometimes, it is possible to identify some triggering eventsmoments of rupture or change that leave a mark and amplify this perception. Among these we find painful events, traumatic experiences or significant transition phases, such as:
- a complicated bereavement or other type of loss
- a perceived failure, for example in relationships, in which we can experience inner emptiness due to a finished love or an unrequited love
- a particularly complex period in your personal or professional life, such as when you decide to change jobs
- a transfer, such as when you choose to go and live abroad.
Other times, however, this emotional emptiness seems to emerge without a clear trigger. It can happen when, perhaps without realizing it, we silence our emotions and proceed on autopilot. Living out of a sense of duty or habit, without a deep purpose and without stopping to choose your own direction, can gradually empty your life of meaning.
This disconnection from ourselves can lead us to no longer know what we really want, what makes us feel good or where we want to go. It is in this disconnect between who we are and how we live that the sense of emptiness can find fertile ground.
Inner emptiness and possible clinical correlations
It is essential to clarify that, although the sense of emptiness Although it is a human experience, in some contexts it can be a symptom linked to more structured psychological disorders. For example, the link between depression and inner emptiness is very narrow: a person with a depressive disorder can describe their state as “feeling empty inside”, accompanied by an absence of hope and loss of interest in activities.
Feeling empty and tired can also be a sensation experienced by people who are also prone to other mood disorders, such as bipolar disorder. In these cases, the person experiences an “emotional swing” in which moments of euphoria and deep depression alternate.
Precisely in these depressive phases, the feeling of inner emptiness can become particularly intense, while during the manic phases you can feel a sense of restlessness that tries to fill that void with frenetic activities and impulsiveness.
Then there are disorders such as borderline personality disorder, which leads the individual to experience emotional instability and a lack of sense of self. The sense of emptiness in the person with borderline disorder is caused precisely by the lack of perception of a stable identity.
Even in narcissistic personality disorder, the onset of feelings of loneliness, depression and a sense of emptiness is possible. The narcissist’s inner emptiness tells of the “narcissistic wound”, an ancient wound that reveals the fragility of the individual who suffers from this disorder.
Last but not least, even in eating disorders, a sense of inner emptiness can arise, often filled with binges (as in the case of binge eating) or addressed by trying to maintain a sense of control over oneself and one’s emotions through the refusal of food as happens in anorexia nervosa.
Filling the inner void: the most common reaction
Faced with the feeling of feeling empty and tired, the most instinctive reaction is often to try to fill this space. It’s an understandable impulse: we look outside for something that can fill the void we feel inside.
You can find yourself buying material goods, even expensive ones, eating to avoid feeling your emotions (as happens in emotional hunger), throwing yourself into unhealthy relationships, filling yourself up with work commitments, spending a lot of time on social media, sometimes developing real addictions.
These attempts may give immediate relief, the impression of feeling better, but the effect is only temporary. The sense of emptiness, sooner or later, returns. This is because the question ‘How can I fill this void?’ it could be poorly placed. What if we tried to change perspective?
How to (stop) filling the inner void
Address the inner emptiness it doesn’t mean hastily filling it from the outside. The solution is not something that ‘falls from the tree’, but a path that is undertaken by looking within oneself. It is an invitation to shift attention from ‘outside’ to ‘inside’.
Here are some food for thought that can guide you on this path:
- try to comprehend whatever it might be the cause of this void. Understanding what makes us feel bad is the first step towards change. Try asking yourself some questions:
- When did you start feeling this emptiness?
- Did anything in particular happen in that period of your life?
- Are there moments of your day in which you feel this emptiness more and others in which you feel it less?
- In which areas of your life does this emptiness manifest itself most forcefully?
- develop acceptance towards everything that we do not have the power to change, adapting to situations with awareness, openness and interest. In this journey the mindfulness It’s a technique that can help a lot.
- understand your values. Values, like a compass, show us the direction to take in our life, what is truly important to us and answer the question “what kind of person do you want to be?”
- plan committed actions in the direction of our values. These actions do not necessarily have to be enormous undertakings, in fact this is a good thing start with small stepssmall daily actions which, because they are guided by our values, will make our lives fuller, richer and more meaningful.
Act in line with what is important to us it doesn’t necessarily mean doing the simplest thing, on the contrary, most of the time it requires a great effort, getting involved in something that perhaps we have never done, having the courage to get out of your own comfort zone.
We can therefore say that, to stop trying at all costs to fill that inner void, it is useful to try to pay attention not only to the external circumstances of life, but also to the state of our mind.
This inner work can help us to get in touch with our most authentic part and being consistent with who we are, staying in the present moment and learning to appreciate and be grateful for all the little things we have every day.
