Taking care of yourself: how to learn to do it

Taking care of yourself: how to learn to do it

By Dr. Kyle Muller

The โ€œself careโ€ is a concept that has its roots in ancient Greek philosophy, in particular in the expression epimรจleia heautou. Beyond the term, its meaning is profoundly current: it is the ability to look at what happens inside and outside of uscultivating a continuous internal dialogue to get to know each other better. It is not an act of selfishness, but a foundation for our balance.

But what does it mean, in concrete terms, take care of yourself? And above all, how do you learn to do it when you feel overwhelmed or don’t know where to start? In this article we will explore together the meaning of self carethe reasons why it is so important and the practical steps to integrate it into everyday life.

The dimensions of care are multiple and interconnected: they include the body care, of the mind and our interiority, but also extend to care of the other and relationships. In psychology, learning to take care of yourself it is a key principle for well-being, because it is closely linked to the ability to accept oneself and build a solid self-esteem.

Working on your self-esteem and self-care, with daily gestures that take into account your personal needs, is an important first step.

The role of the psychologist, in this case, becomes that of accompanying the person who does not take care of himself on a path of change and supporting him in achieving this important objective.

What does self-care really mean?

Beyond the fashions of the moment, what does authentically mean take care of yourself? It’s not just sporadic gestures, but a constant attitude that can bring profound benefits to our lives. Let’s see together how to approach it self care in a simple but effective way.

Take care of yourself means first and foremost listen to each other: stop for a moment to understand your physical and emotional needs, without judgment. It is a way of loving yourself that translates into concrete actions for your well-being. To achieve this, it is essential to develop a greater self awarenesscultivating the introspective ability to look within and recognize oneself as having value. This path takes time, patience and a good dose of self compassionor the kindness of accept yourself even with its own limits and fragilities.

Each of us has fundamental needs, theorized in Maslow’s Pyramid: the central idea of โ€‹โ€‹this theory is that in each of us there is a hierarchy of needson which learning and conditioning are built through motivation.

Sometimes, taking care of yourself can seem like a choreespecially for those who are used to always putting the needs of others first, be it family, partner or friends. Yet, giving yourself this space is not a selfish act, but a fundamental investment. It triggers a virtuous mechanism: only if we take care of ourselves can we have the energy and serenity to take care of others in a healthy and sustainable way.

Consequences of not taking care of yourself

The importance of take care of yourself becomes even clearer when we look at the consequences of not doing so. Constantly putting yourself in the background is not an act of generosity, but a slow draining of your resources. Over time, you can forget how to take care of yourself, experiencing a sense of emptiness and sadness that are difficult to fill. But what happens, in more detail, when we neglect ourselves?

  • A critical internal dialogue is activated: the inner voice becomes severe, making us feel incompetent, inadequate and fueling the fear of not being up to par.
  • You never feel “enough”: a constant feeling of imperfection can emerge, sometimes linked to “atelophobia”, the fear of not being perfect.
  • We remain trapped between the past and the future: the mind tends to ruminate on past mistakes or worry excessively about the future, losing the ability to live and appreciate the present moment.
  • You lose your sense of control over your life: you have the feeling that events happen without anything you can do to influence them, and your own locus of control it moves from inside to outside.

How to take care of yourself: some tips

Get started take care of yourself It may seem like a huge goal, but it doesn’t have to be. Often, the biggest change starts with one small step. If you’re wondering how to take care of yourself effectivelyknow that sometimes very little is enough. Here are some tips to get started.

Even before the practical actions, the self care it starts with a change of mentality. It may be useful to start cultivating these attitudes:

  • Carve out a daily moment just for yourself, even a short one, to recharge your energy.
  • Cultivate an internal dialogue based on self compassion and on kindness, rather than criticism.
  • Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes, recognizing them as opportunities for growth.
  • Connect with your desires and ask yourself what you can do, even in a small way, to improve your life.
  • Exercise emotional intelligence to create harmony between thoughts and emotions.
  • Consciously choose an area to start with: the body, the mind, or relationships.

But, concretely, how do you take care of yourself? There isn’t one routine Of self care universal. Effectiveness is finding what works for you. Everyone, by listening to their needs, can discover small daily actions to improve their well-being. Here are some ideas to start from:

  • following a balanced diet, a first step to understanding how to take care of yourself physically
  • do physical activity, as they say mens sana in corpore sano
  • buy something new that you have wanted for a long time
  • dedicate yourself to small gestures of care and beauty. Sometimes, taking care of yourself aesthetically can help you feel more in harmony with your image
  • read a good book
  • spend time in nature. Whether it’s mountains or sea, it’s good for your health
  • take a walk
  • meet friends.

Even taking care of your own mind it is equally fundamental: giving yourself time to read, meditate or simply reflect can help you free yourself from negative thoughts and find inner balance.

What if a thought like โ€œI don’t feel like taking care of myselfโ€ were to surface? It’s important to know that it’s a normal and legitimate feeling, especially when you feel tired or unmotivated. In these moments, don’t force yourself. Instead, try focusing on one single, small positive gesture. Something that requires minimal effort but can rekindle a spark of motivation and well-being.

So, to the question โ€œhow to start taking care of yourself?โ€ When you’re unmotivated, you can respond just by dedicating a few minutes to an activity you enjoy or starting a new habit that makes you feel better.

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take care of yourself

How to take care of others

An often overlooked aspect is that take care of yourself it is not a solitary act, but also improves our ability to take care of others. This principle is fundamental in the helping professions (such as doctors, nurses and psychologists), but it applies to anyone: parents, partners, friends. In order to offer authentic support to others, It is essential first of all to take care of ourselves and our energies.

If we only care for others without thinking about ourselves and without receiving anything in return, our energy is depleted and we end up feeling overloaded. In couple relationships, for example, those who have little self-care and low self-esteem will often tend to feel guilt towards their partner in love.

A fundamental thing is to choose to dedicate yourself to enriching relationships and which make us feel good, which give us back what we give in terms of time and affection. Taking care of yourself and others becomes a single action to live with greater serenity and satisfaction.

The scholar Luigina Mortariin his book Philosophy of care, he defined care for others as a “substantial ontological phenomenon of being there”. In fact, Mortari claims that:

โ€œfeeling inside a caring relationship is an unavoidable necessity that accompanies us throughout our livesโ€

Every human being exists, but also coexists with others: this underlines how much we need each other and how much the other needs us. How can we care for others? The most precious things we can give are our time and our presencethen a smile, a gesture, a word. It is therefore important to ask how we can help, listen without judging and stay close to the other person. All this can be simply summarized in one word: being there.

Taking care of yourself: what psychology can do

Anyone can go through moments where this happens feels lost or stuckwithout even being able to understand what you want or need. In these phases, you may feel widespread discomfort, the sensation that something is wrong, but without knowing where to start to feel better. It is a human and common experience.

In these moments, choosing to treat yourself to a psychological journey can be a gesture of self care profound and transformative. Giving yourself a gift of this type means giving yourself permission to be listened to and to build concrete tools for your personal growth, working on aspects such as low self-esteem and strengthening your self-empowerment.

A psychologist can help the person identify their needs and priorities and, through the recognition of their resources, can help it flourish again and to put back himself at the center of your life and reactivate your ability to take care of yourself.

To find the Evidence Network psychologist best suited to your needs, you can fill out the information questionnaire. Instead, if you need more information, you can read the opinions about Evidence Network on our website.

Kyle Muller
About the author
Dr. Kyle Muller
Dr. Kyle Mueller is a Research Analyst at the Harris County Juvenile Probation Department in Houston, Texas. He earned his Ph.D. in Criminal Justice from Texas State University in 2019, where his dissertation was supervised by Dr. Scott Bowman. Dr. Mueller's research focuses on juvenile justice policies and evidence-based interventions aimed at reducing recidivism among youth offenders. His work has been instrumental in shaping data-driven strategies within the juvenile justice system, emphasizing rehabilitation and community engagement.
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