There fear of death It is a human emotion, profound and universal. Everyone can happen to think “I’m afraid of dying“, especially in the face of events that compare us with our vulnerability. Anxiety from Covid, for example, has led many people to fear for their safety, just as eco-anxiety can feed the fear for the future of the planet. These are just some examples of how the fear of dying can manifest itself in our life.
Sometimes, this fear can become a constant shadow, a real anguish of death which manifests itself directly or winds under the surface. It can turn into a destabilizing presence that, in the most intense cases, risks paralyzing, preventing you from living fully. The question, then, arises spontaneously: one can stop living one’s daily life with serenity for fear of dying?
Tanatophobia: what is the fear of dying
In psychology, the phobia of death takes the name of tanatophobia. The term derives from the Greek “Thanks“(Death) and”Phobos“(Fear), and literally indicates one phobia to die Which can become so intense as to compromise everyday life, just as it happens with other specific phobias (for example claustrophobia, arahnophobia, entomophobia, megalophobia or thalassophobia). But what really hides behind this fear? And what is deepest, the deeper, theanguish of death?
It is important to distinguish: one account is the thought of death that can emerge in conditions such as depression, another is the tanatophobia as a real phobia. The latter, in fact, often hides a set of more specific and personal fears, which touch the deepest ropes of our existence:
- there fear of dying and leaving childrenor the thought of the pain that our loss would cause to the people we love;
- there fear of dying youngfeeling that their lives and life projects would be abruptly interrupted;
- the fear of the suffering physical or emotional that could accompany the process of dying;
- theunknown Of what happens later, a mystery that can generate profound anxiety.
These background fears can then materialize in fears linked to specific situations, which become real catalysts of anxiety:
- there fear of falling asleep and dyingthat is, the fear of not awakening;
- the fear of dying from a heart attack, which can lead to a real heart rate for a real heart rate;
- the fear of dying during childbirth, a moment of great vulnerability;
- the fear of moving poisoned;
- there fear of diseases and to dieas in the case of a tumor, which can become cancer;
- The fear of dying by plane, often linked to the fear of flying.
This anguish is often intertwined with other conditions. It can be present in those suffering from hypochondria or cybercondria, where the fear of diseases and to die is central, or in those who manifest necrophobia (the fear of corpses). In the same way, it can be the hidden engine of other phobias such as aerophobia (the fear of flying), thalassophobia (fear of sea depths) or tocophobia (fear of childbirth). Beyond the form it assumes, what defines the tanatophobia It is the persistent feeling of Always think about one’s death, as if it could arrive at any moment.
The symptoms of tanatophobia
When the fear of dying turns into anxiety Constant, it can have important repercussions on physical and mental well -being. There tanatophobia It is not just a thought, but an experience that manifests itself in the body and mind, limiting the ability to live with serenity. Those who suffer from it can recognize some of these symptoms:
- anxiety attacks
- Ift panic
- fear intense
- thoughts of solitude
- Obsessive thoughts about death
- tension and tremolium
- cry and despair.
Tanatophobia: the causes
Why are you afraid of death? The roots of this fear are often deep and complex, intertwined with our personal history and the context in which we live. The way we face the idea of the end is influenced by our past experiences and the messages we have received since childhood.
In our culture, in particular, Death still represents a taboo. Little is talked about, often in a low voice, and this silence can feed theanguish of death It is a deep sense of solitude in those who find themselves confronting this thought.
It is natural fear of dying In situations that put us in direct contact with mortality. Living a mourning, facing a serious illness or preparing for an important surgery are moments in which anguish for one’s end can emerge strongly, and this is a completely understandable reaction.
The anguish of death in psychoanalysis is considered a manifestation of the death drive. Melanie Klein in “Notes on some schizoid mechanisms” (1946) writes in fact: “… if we assume the existence of a death drive we must also assume that in the deepest layers of the mind there is a response to this in terms of fear of being annihilated (…) This in my opinion is the first cause of anguish”.
The fear of death in the life cycle
It is not unusual to find the fear of death too in children. Children already begin as a child to confront death, for example by living that of their pet or grandparents. These experiences can trigger the fear of parents’ death in children.
The fear of death in adolescence breaks out predominantly. Fear of dying and anxiety in adolescence are common: Teenagers are frightened and at the same time attracted by deathapproach it and at the same time try to exorcise it, sometimes through risky behavior. For this the interventions of Death Education In schools are a precious ally to teach to look at death as a natural event.
THE’anxiety to dieon the other hand, often tends to attenuate oneself in the central phase of adult lifea period in which the energies are concentrated on the career, on the construction of a family and on other projects. However, this fear can forcefully re -emerge later, when some of these goals have been achieved and aging brings with it new physical changes and existential reflections, such as the exit of the children’s house or the arrival of menopause.
Life and death: two sides of the same medal?
Why is death scary? Everything is born and then fade and we find ourselves having to compare ourselves with this reality every day. Seneca claimed that “there is nothing wrong with life for those who have well understood that the deprivation of life is not bad”. Sant’Agostino said “only in the face of death does man arise in himself”. But what do these thinkers want to say? How is it possible to argue that death, an event that puts an end to our existence, can be represented in a positive key?
The philosopher Heideggerfor example, has fully explored this theme, coming to a powerful conclusion: The awareness of our death can act as a spur to live a more authentic life.
Even if at a rational level we know we have to die, we often live as if this reality did not concern us. It is when we confront the concrete perception of death that we are driven to question ourselves about our existence: are we living the life we want? This comparison can help us take the reins of our life in hand, to make a ‘leap in quality’ and finally feel protagonists of our time.
The fear of the death of others: when we fear of losing our loved ones
The fear of death does not always and only concern its end. Often, it takes on the form of a profound anguish for the possible loss of the people we love: parents, children, partner or closest friends. This fear can be equally paralyzing and is intertwined with the fear of solitude, the pain of mourning and the sense of emptiness that the disappearance of a dear person would leave.
Fearing for the life of others is a common event of tanatophobia. Anxiety is no longer concentrated on itself, but is projected outside, transforming itself into a constant concern for the health and safety of others. This feeling, although born from love and affection, can become oppressive, leading to overprotective behaviors or an anticipatory anxiety that prevents the relationships of living relationships serenely.
Recognizing this nuance of the fear of death is important to understand its complexity and dealing with it in the right way, welcoming its vulnerability associated with emotional ties.
Municipal tackle the fear of death to start living
How can you manage the tanatophobia? The first step is perhaps to change perspective. Death reminds us that ours time is limitedand this awareness can become a precious resource. Learning to ‘die’ metaphorically, or to let go of what causes us to suffering, is essential to stop being obsessed with the thinking of the end and starting to really live the present.
There are moments when, for example, forgive, it allows us to let go of the grudge and the suffering that derives from the brood over the past. Whatever the thing we refuse it brings us pain because In refusing it we oppose life itself. Not being afraid of death therefore means understanding that fear does not prevent death, prevents life.
Fear of death as a carrier of personal change
There are several ways to confront the tanatophobia and learn to manage the anxiety that derives from it. An effective path can be to contact a psychologist. The help of a professional can encourage the acquisition of new awarenesstransforming fear into an engine of change. Let’s see how, through some key points:
- IftAccept death as part of life: Seeing it not as an enemy to fear, but as a reminder to live every day with greater fullness and meaning.
- Use the awareness of limited time: remember that life has a term can push us to take advantage of every occasion fullyto cultivate gratitude for what we are and we have, and to give priority to what really matters.
- Change perspective on values: Death helps us to distinguish what is essential from what is superfluous, allowing us to realize our priorities and give the right weight to things.
Sometimes, the fear of dying is actually a fear of not having lived enough. The more we flee from this thought, the less we can integrate a fundamental truth: death It is part of life and reminds us that We will not live forever. A psychotherapeutic journey, even with an online psychotherapist of Unebravo, can be a safe space to explore these anxieties, understand their origins and learn to manage the anxiety that derives from it, transforming fear into an opportunity for growth.
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