In recent times, thanks to a growing interest in psychological and relational well -being issues, it has become easier and easier to come across articles, posts and reels on social media in which it is narcissisma theme capable of attracting attention to itself and bringing out the most varied question marks.
Narcissism is a personality disorder and, depending on how it manifests itself, it can stand out in Overt or Cover Narcissism.
In the article we will explore the differences between these two types of narcissism and how to behave with a narcissist cover. We will also try to answer questions about relationships, for example whether to fall in love with a narcissist cover is dangerous or how to distinguish the Covert Narcissism in love.
The narcissist cover in psychology
In psychology the term narcissism has been used in a duplicate, to refer to the healthy love which allows you to take care of yourself and find the balance with the other, or to refer toexcessive lovewhich leads to focusing exclusively on one’s needs by cutting out those of the other.
According to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), the central characteristics of Narcissistic personality disorderthat is, the excess of narcissism, refer to aspects of grandeur manifested through:
- A great sense of importance and uniqueness
- Excessive request for admiration
- envy
- lack of empathy
- exploitation of interpersonal relationships
- arrogant and presumptuous attitudes.
These aspects are certainly the most obvious and represent only one of the two sides of the medal that represents narcissism. In fact, we can divide the narcissism into two subtypes: Overt narcissism and Covert Narcissism.
The Overt narcissismalso known as a subtype greatis the evident manifestation of the aspects of grandeur reported by the DSM-5.
The Cover Narcissism Instead, known as a subtype vulnerableit is generally more difficult to recognize because it brings with it manifestations of fragility, vulnerability and sensitivity to judgment, with a grandeur that remains hidden and which, instead, lets emerge a shy and inhibited attitude.
Covert Narcissism, has often received less attention On a social level but it is, in the same way, a clinical condition capable of causing discomfort to the person who experiences it and therefore requires taking charge of mental health professionals when requested.
In both cases, it should be emphasized that narcissism is a reaction of the individual to a low self -esteem, to the feeling of inadequacy and personal insecurity. It is an attempt by the person, therefore, to revive one’s self -image, even if in an inefficient way that does not really go to improve it (Ghezzani, 2017).
In maladative narcissism, they also emerge difficulties in building satisfactory interpersonal relationships, equipped with reciprocity and not aimed at continuous confirmation of their personal value.
Cover Narcissism in clinical practice
Is the narcissist Covert aware of being it? As highlighted by clinical practice, often the person with narcissistic difficulties decides to turn to psychological therapy when the compensatory strategies Put in place to safeguard their self -esteem become bankruptcy and a state of vulnerability or discrepancy prevails between personal expectations and reality (Ellison et al., 2013).
In the case of Covert Narcissism, the sensations of vulnerability, insecurity and inadequacy are more perceived and close to the awareness of the person so much so as to push it more easily to seek treatment.
During the therapy, the aspects of painwhile the aspects of grandeur will probably only head in a more advanced phase and with the consolidation of the therapeutic alliance.
The recognition of the sections characterizing the narcissistic pathology by the therapist, however, will be fundamental to ensure that we can consciously work on the fulcrum of the disorder and, therefore, to guarantee a success of the therapy.
Narcisista Covert: characteristics and behaviors
How to recognize a narcissist cover?
While in the Narcissism Overt the manifestation of one’s grandeur is evident, in Covert Narcissism it is not expressed.
Although, in fact, the narcissist of the pathological cover also has a great need for recognition with secret fantasies of grandeur, he never openly manifests his idea of superiority due to the fear of being injured and devalued.
In fact, also the Narcisista Donna Covert He manifests traits of vulnerable narcissism, characterized by hypersensitivity to criticism, anxiety, shyness and insecurity.
It is often a person with important inferiority experiences And shame, hypersensitive to criticism, which would therefore not be able to tolerate a further low blow to their self -esteem that attempts at all costs to defend.
Choosing to adopt an inhibited and retired relational style has, in fact, the function of protect yourself from a social exhibition which could seriously compromise your personal image or not reflect your expectations (Pincus et al., 2009).
The insecurity of the narcissistic personality cover
There is no univocal and well -defined response that explains the evolution of the personality towards a form of narcissism in a certain way.
The personality gradually develops over time and in response to numerous factors that interact and change each other: genetic, biological, environmental, cultural factors.
However, there are factors recognized by the scientific community as protective factors And predisposing factors.
In the specific case of narcissism, it seems that the quality of childhood relationships With the care figures he has a great influence.
Parents able to communicate openly and remain emotionally present for their children, they would lead to developing a self -esteem solid to cope with the challenges of life.
Conversely, interactions with emotionally absent parents, openly devaluing but which, at the same time, have high expectations towards their children can lead them to create exaggerated and narcissistic visions of self in an attempt to protect themselves from the feelings of refusal and devaluation.
These children can then seek positive attention from others To compensate for the lack of affective warmth by the parents (Kernberg, 1975).
In the same way, parents with the tendency to overestimate the qualities of their children would contribute to the development of a fragile self -esteem, dependent on the continuous external feedback, and to the concomitant increase in the levels of narcissism (Brummelman et al., 2015).
The narcissist cover in reports
It is now evident that the narcissistic pathology causes the person who experiences it a significant discomfort, even more significant in the case of Covert Narcissism.
The narcissist cover, in fact, is constantly engaged in the laborious attempt to reconcile one’s negative vision of selfwithout value and source of shame with that ideally worthy of success and recognition that would like to bring out in order to be able to collect the success it deserves.
It is a tiring and not always fruitful work: sometimes, in fact, it ends with feelings of devaluation, fault, anger and depressive experiences.
Personal relationships become only one tool for obtaining the much -Bramed recognitionSometimes they are a source of anxiety and empty the most authentic aspects of sharing and the pleasure of being in relation.
The narcissist cover in love and work
The Narcissist cover in love It can show apparently devoted and helpful behavior, but its relational mode is often characterized by thin manipulation and constant need for confirmation. Unlike the narcissist Overt, who imposes himself with arrogance and grandeur, the narcissist cover adopts more subtle strategies to obtain attention and validation, such as the victimismThe make you feel guilty the other person or the use of the emotional distance.
In the Narcissism Covert there sexuality It can be lived with detachment, using it as a tool to strengthen its sense of value or to obtain control in the relationship, often alternating moments of apparent involvement with phases of emotional coldness.
Also in Workthe dynamic is similar. The person can show himself insecure or reserved, but acts with passive competitivenessavoiding direct confrontation and trying to discredit others with subtle manipulation or assuming the role of the “victim” to earn advantages. These relational methods may have a significant impact on the people involved, creating relationships full of ambiguity and emotional insecurity.
People who find themselves in relation to the narcissist cover can, in turn, feel they do not live a spontaneous and satisfying relationship, because they often put in the background or accused of not loving or enhancing the person who find themselves enough.
Equally, inserted within a family system, the narcissist cover can struggle to maintain a correct relational balance due to the profound difficulty in empathizing With the other members of the group and therefore cultivate an authentic relationship without manipulating attitudes.
The support of psychological therapy in Narcissism Covert
Covert Narcissism therapy begins with theempathic and authentic listening of the experiences reported by the patient himself, but pursues the clear objective of attributing a meaning and, above all, to reconstruct the causes and motivations that contribute to the maintenance of a low self -esteem and the continuous need for external validation.
In particular, the interventions are often aimed at an awareness of the negative feelings related to the self and the increase in the ability to independently manage any threatening experiences for the ego (Kohut, 1971).
The therapist will also try to promote mentalization within a safe therapeutic relationship, that is, the ability to reflect on complex mental states in relation to his own internal emotional experience and others (Fonagy et al., 2002).
The support of a professional can also be important for those who relate to narcissist people. Manage the Relationship with a narcissist cover It requires awareness, clear boundaries and strong work on itself. It is essential to recognize manipulative dynamics and not to be trapped in the sense of guilt or in the illusion of being able to “save” the person.
If the relationship becomes toxic and exhausting, evaluating the help of a professional can be an important step to better understand the situation and find effective strategies to manage it or, if necessary, stop it.
