Starting a path of psychological therapy is an important choice, often accompanied by expectations and hopes of change. It may happen, however, that after some time the expected improvements are not noticed and that a discouraging thought begins to make its way: “The psychologist does not help me, maybe it’s better to give up“.
Dealing with this theme is fundamental. Far from being a taboo, recognizing that a therapeutic path can cross stall phases or not lead to the desired results is the first step to understand what to do. In this article we will explore together because, sometimes, psychotherapy does not work as we would like, analyzing the possible causes and related solutions.
“The psychologist is useless”: a prejudice to be dispelled
How many times have we heard “Go to the psychologist is not needed“Or, even more categorically,” psychology is useless “? For those involved in mental health, these statements are unfortunately a frequent echo of a still widespread feeling.
Often, behind these sentences he hides a prejudice well rooted in our culturewho tends to label those looking for psychological support. Yet addressing a therapist is an act of courage and care towards oneself. On the other hand, the need for this support is confirmed by the data: an Italian study conducted on a sample of the Tuscan population (Silvestri et al., 2023) found that 28.5% of respondents suffered from a psychiatric disorder during their lives. Looking for professional help is, therefore, a way to find wellness, face complex moments or encourage your personal growth (BMC Psychiatry).
But what happens when, despite having overcome this rock, do you have the feeling that the therapy is not working? Before concluding that The psychologist is useless It is important to understand that the effectiveness of a path depends on many factors. Let’s analyze the possible causes together, keeping in mind what a psychologist does and how a therapeutic path works.
Why, sometimes, psychotherapy doesn’t work?
Feel that the therapy is not bringing the desired results can be frustrating and discouraging. The reasons for this sensation can be different and complex and rarely depend on a single factor. Let’s explore some of the most common reasons together.
- Expectations on the therapeutic path
- One’s motivation to change
- The therapeutic approach of the professional
- The quality of the relationship and the therapeutic alliance.
Before deepening these points, it is important to remember one thing: finding the right professional is not always immediate. Have had Negative experiences in psychotherapy It does not mean that the path is not suitable for you. It is an invitation not to be discouraged and continue looking for the support more in line with your needs.
The expectations on the course: what is realistic to expect?
Sometimes the disappointment arises from an idea that is not entirely realistic of what the therapy is. It can be thought that the psychologist offers immediate solutions or that change takes place easily. This can lead to thinking:
- “Psychotherapy did not serve me”
- “I spent money at all”
- “I hoped to improve my self -esteem, but it didn’t happen.”
You can think that a specific approach, such as cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, does not work ever. In fact, it is essential to understand that The psychologist does not solve problems In our place, but accompanies us on a path of discovery. Have expectations Very high or wanting immediate results is understandable, but it is not realistic. It is not possible to establish a priori of how many sessions by the psychologist they will be used to feel better.
It is useful to reflect on How to understand if therapy is workingkeeping in mind that A therapeutic path is gradual. Change requires time and patience. Many personal factors come into play, such as:
- The natural difficulty in opening up and talking about oneself
- the fear of the judgment, even if unfounded
- The effort of dealing with painful themes.
The motivation to change: an indispensable engine
Therapy is teamwork. Although it may seem trivial, have a profound motivation for change It is essential. Sometimes the feeling that The psychologist does not help It can arise not so much from the professional, but from our difficulty in questioning certain patterns. The difference between psychologist and psychotherapist is important, but no professional can do the job for us. Let’s take a practical example:
We are addressing a therapist because we are tremendously stressed by our work. We spend more time than you have to read and send emails, we give up on the evenings with friends to deliver a project, we lose important anniversaries because we have to work. We cannot change this behavior alone and the therapy can help us clarify our priorities.
If, after taking awareness of our priorities thanks to therapy, we are not willing to gradually change our habits, how could we improve? A therapist does not make decisions for us, nor does it impose choices. It can illuminate the road, but we have to make the steps. The change, after all, must start from inside.
The therapeutic approach: not all paths are the same
Another reason why you can think that Psychotherapy does not work It is linked to the choice of orientation. There are many different theoretical approaches, and not everyone is suitable for anyone or any type of problem. Understanding how to choose the right psychologist also implies considering his working method. Among the main approaches we find:
- systemic-relational
- psychoanalytic
- psychodynamic
- gestalt
- cognitive-behavioral.
It is completely normal undertake a path without knowing in advance if that specific approach will be the right one for you.
Some approaches focus on the past and unconscious dynamics, others work on the present and concrete goals; Some explore family relationships, others focus on the individual. If you start a path with a professional whose method is not in tune with our needs or our way of being, it is easy to feel frustrated and think that the therapy itself does not work.
To support patients in choosing the most suitable approach to their needs, Unabravo has developed a Algorithm that combines the user with the most suitable psychologist for preferences and personal needs chosen among their professionals.
The therapeutic alliance: when the harmony is missing
It is perhaps the most important factor of all. The therapeutic alliance is that special bond of trusted, respect and collaboration that is created between you and your therapist. It represents the safe base on which the entire path is built. If this connection is not created, the work becomes much more difficult.
Sometimes, despite the goodwill of both, the affinity simply does not start. If you feel of Don’t find yourself at ease with your psychologist Or your psychologist, it’s not anyone’s fault. It is a human experience. In these cases, an ethical professional will ask himself about the reasons for this difficulty and he may himself suggest a change of psychotherapistaddressing a more suitable colleague.
What to do if you think the therapy is not working
If you find yourself in this situation, the first thing to know is that you don’t have to worry: it is more common than you think, in front, this doubt can become an opportunity for personal growth. The sensations you feel, even those related to how you feel after a psychotherapy session, are precious information. So let’s see what concrete steps you can take.
The first step, however difficult, is to talk about it. Face the topic with your therapist It is an act of great value for the path itself. Explaining your doubts and frustrations in an honest way can open a constructive dialogue. You could understand together how to reorient the path or, if necessary, evaluate the idea of change psychologist.
Many wonder How to tell your psychologist that you no longer want to continue the path. The key is sincerity. Remember that it is your right to feel comfortable and perceive progress. A psychologist is a professional prepared to manage these conversations with neutrality and without judgment. His goal remains your well -being, even if this means directing you elsewhere
The end goal is always your well -being. If you feel that the professional who follows you is not the right one for you, you have every right to look elsewhere. Decide change therapist It is not a failure, but a conscious step towards your care.
Find the right therapist with Unabravo
We know how crucial the choice of the therapist is. For this reason, in Unebravo, we have developed a process designed to facilitate this meeting. By filling out a free questionnaire, our innovative matching system analyzes your needs and preferences to associate you with the psychologist or online psychologist of our most suitable team to help you. The first cognitive interview is free and allows you to immediately understand if the harmony is the right one
Online psychotherapy works if it is based on the same principles as that in presence: first of all, the creation of a therapeutic relationship effectivebuilt on trust and collaboration.
And if, despite everything, do you feel that the awarded therapist is not the right one for you? In Unebravo, the door is always open. We guarantee the possibility of requesting a new combination at any time, to allow you to continue your path with the most suitable person to you, without obstacles.
